Not all women are maternal. In fact, many aren’t. Some women choose to go another way with their lives, focusing on their education, work or charitable ambitions, for example. And while child-rearing is a wonderful thing for some people, it’s not the only thing that can validate a life.
Unfortunately, a lot of people seemed to have missed that memo and insist that all women will and should feel a maternal urge, at some stage in their lives. Here are 11 sentences that women who don’t want children are tired of hearing:
- “You’ll change your mind when you’re older.” Maybe so… but then again, maybe not. If you’re not the lucky holder of some magical crystal ball that tells the future, you’ve no right to tell others what the future-them might think, feel or want.
- “You’ll regret it when you’re older.” Again, with these psychics running around telling me my future! How do they do it? How do they know? Oh. Right. They don’t. These types of sentences are disrespectful to the person in question, who is the owner of their own fate, and therefore – their own regrets. You’re literally telling them: I know you better than you know yourself. How arrogant can you be?
- “You just haven’t found the right person yet.” Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. We live in the Middle Ages and all I need is a knight in shining armor to come to my rescue and take me away from my sordid, childless future. Thanks. How progressive thinking of you.
- “Choosing a childfree life is selfish.” Being childless doesn’t equate being selfish. You can be a selfless person (or not, your choice!) without having to have a child as some kind of warped “proof” of this. While being a mother is a wonderful thing, it also plays into the idea of the “ideal” woman. The ideal woman is domestic, sacrifices themselves for their families, and – most of all – is selfless beyond comparison. I vote for shedding this antiquated idea of womanhood, and embracing a childless (and not necessarily selfish) life!
- “You’ll have a harder time finding someone who wants to be with you.” Obviously, there are some men that want a woman who’s looking to settle down and have kids, but there are likewise men who don’t want that. A woman who doesn’t want kids, will find a partner that respects that decision.
- “Who’s going to give me grandchildren?” You’re not your parents’ incubator. And while you may feel gratitude towards your parents for all that they’re done for you (or maybe you don’t, which is fine too), it’s still not your responsibility to fulfil your parents’ expectations.
- “Don’t you want to leave a legacy?” Yes, but there are ways to do this without having a baby, like through education, work or charity, for example. Thanks for the concern, though.
- “But who will take care of you when you’re old?” Probably the same people in the nursing home that your kids are going to deposit you at.
- “But child birth is such a miracle!” “Miracles” are, by definition, “an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws”. I’m pretty sure we’ve got the science behind child birth down pretty well. And I’m pretty sure that not every instance of child birth is a welcome event.
- “You will never understand what real love is until you hold your first child in your arms.” So I’ve been lying to all my friends, family members, and romantic partners? Damn. Sorry everyone, I LIED. Apparently.
- “Having children changes your life!” It’s true. Having children does change your life, but who said that’s a good thing? I like my life how it is, thank you very much.