To be in love, you have to be open and vulnerable. Sorry to break it to you, but if you’re guilty of these bad behaviors, you’ll have to let them go if you ever want to have a healthy long-term relationship.
- You’re a pessimist. You can’t find love because you secretly don’t think it exists. Even when you meet a good person, you’re just waiting for them to mess up and ruin everything. You have low expectations because you don’t really believe in love or soulmates or any of that fairytale romance stuff.
- You judge without knowing. You call yourself observant but really you’re just critical. You judge everyone and everything that crosses your path. This characteristic is probably what makes you who you are, but it’s also what makes it hard for you to love someone. You can’t stop judging long enough to really get to know someone.
- You seek perfection in everything. In order for something to be right, it has to be 100% perfect, which explains why you’re so hard on yourself and others. You want everyone to be exactly as you envisioned. Unfortunately, that’s impossible, which is why you’re always left disappointed.
- You generalize and stereotype. You put people into categories and leave them there. Did you meet someone at work? They’re a “work friend.” Did you meet someone at a party? They’re a “drunk partygoer.” These people could be much more than that if you stopped trying to compartmentalize every single part of your life.
- You don’t love yourself. You don’t love yourself and you’re not confident in who you are. You think you’re being pranked when someone asks you out and you laugh when you’re complimented. You don’t trust that someone would actually like you because you don’t like you.
- You lie all the time. You don’t flat out lie but you definitely embellish. Instead of being honest about your minimum wage job, you pretend you’re making bank. I understand why it’s more comfortable to keep certain parts of your life secret, but it’s better to be upfront and honest than to keep a lie going.
- You overanalyze everything. It’s important to think carefully about things, but it’s possible to take this a little too far. If you want to find love, overthinking will only destroy you. You might think it’s smart to be observant in a relationship, but reading into every single text message? Yeah, that’s too observant.
- You’re overly emotional. Your emotions can change in an instant. It’s not your fault you feel all the feels, but it can be hard for people to keep up with you. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being emotional. Just be aware of this quality so you can manage your ever-changing feelings.
- You give up easily. Some people stay in relationships even when they’re miserable; you leave relationships even when you’re happy. You let anxiety force you to make split decisions you typically regret. You’re a relationship quitter, so how can you ever expect to find something real?
- You’re lazy. Why can’t you find love? Because you’re not trying to. Instead of going out and meeting new people, you stay inside (wishing you were out meeting new people). Love isn’t going to fall into your lap. That would be nice, but it’s just not how it works.
- You love being alone a little too much. If you have the option to spend time with friends or kick it solo, you’d choose the latter. You don’t need people to feel complete, and while it’s great to be independent, you can’t shut people out because you’re too afraid to let them in.
- You compare yourself to others. You’re constantly trying to change instead of accepting yourself. That means you don’t know who you are. How can you love someone when you don’t even know yourself?
- You hide your feelings. You’ve been hurt more times than you can count and because of it, you can’t be upfront about your feelings. Sure, you can cry and scream, but formulating the words to express yourself isn’t easy. People never know what you’re really thinking and they bail because they can’t read you.
- You don’t care what people think. You don’t care about other people’s opinions. That’s great and all, but the reality is that some people’s opinions matter—or at least they should. You can’t go through life ignoring feedback because you think you’re perfect. Go ahead and do you—just be mindful of what others think while you’re at it.
