10 Things You Need To Know If You’re Dating An Introvert

Trying to date as an introvert is always a challenge. Unless the guy in question is an introvert too, there are some things he just won’t understand about being with our type. 

  1. We don’t necessarily enjoy first dates. First dates to most people are more exciting than nerve-wracking. In a new place getting to know a new person that could potentially lead to romantic rendezvous—I mean, where do they sign up? For introverts, first dates are the equivalent of watching a horror movie. We’re terrified in the days before, during, and after. There’s just so much going on that we’re not comfortable with and it can feel super overwhelming.
  2. We find meeting new people scary. Not to mention we have to deal with the anxiety-inducing situation of meeting a brand new person—and it’s no secret that new people make us nervous. The ironic thing about introverts is that we’re more confident than we realize, but it takes us a lot to get to the point where we can show you how confident we are. On a first date, we’ll probably listen more than we’ll talk—and it’ll take a few dates for a guy to truly get to know us.
  3. Having to maintain long conversations drains us. For that matter, we’ll struggle to be in a guy’s company for longer than a couple of hours at a time. Being around people for too long makes us feel mentally and physically drained. We then have to spend a bit of time recharging our batteries until we’re ready to be social again. It’s not personal, but this has to be done often for an introvert to feel happy. We have to give to ourselves before we can give to other people.
  4. We’re not big texters. Due to the fact that we need a lot of alone time, we could happily go for days without even visiting the WhatsApp or social media apps on our phones. If we don’t text a guy back for a while, it’s not that we don’t like them but because we have to take care of ourselves first. Sometimes we can text first, but it might take us a long time to get back to a response because we don’t feel the need to be surgically attached to our phones.
  5. We cancel plans regularly. Because it takes a lot for a true introvert to socialize, we often cancel plans and become flaky. This is rather unintentional. In fact, we’ll probably make plans with a guy way in advance only to bail at the last minute. The reason for this is that we have to be “in the mood” to see people. If we’re not in the mood, we just won’t see a guy. Period.
  6. We love staying in just as much as going out. Introverts are big on staying in just as much as going out, mostly because they find crowds of people overwhelming. Therefore, if a guy dates an introvert, he needs to be prepared for cozy nights in as well as the odd night out. In fact, bring around a bottle of our favorite wine, pizza, and let’s get Netflix streaming for an introvert’s idea of night-in bliss.
  7. We love our own companyAnother thing guys should know about introverts is that we won’t be needy with how much we want to see our other half. Why? Well, we just adore our own company. We could happily be by ourselves for days and have a grand old time. Seriously.
  8. We get grumpy if a guy’s in our personal space for too long. It’s not a personal thing, but introverts will get very short-tempered and grumpy if a guy tries hanging around in our personal space for too long—or anyone for that matter. We often need our own time to be alone and reflect—and if we don’t get it, that person will know about it.
  9. We’re deep thinkersIntroverts are deep thinkers and don’t talk as much as they listen for this reason. We like to sit back and observe situations rather than be at the center of them. That said, we can be especially extroverted with a guy when we get to know him and feel comfortable in his company. If we become extremely quiet for some reason, it’s usually because we’re going through an internal battle, so kindness and patience are important until we choose to open up again.
  10. We don’t need a guy but we want a guy. The great thing about dating an introvert is that we’re strong and independent, which guys often find attractive. That special someone will be able to tell that we don’t particularly need him in our lives, but if we want him? He’ll know that we truly mean it.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.