12 Things You Never Knew About The Honeymoon Phase

It’s considered the holy grail in relationships. The honeymoon phase is filled with bliss and happiness, but there are some serious negatives to it as well. Here’s why you should be glad to kiss the honeymoon phase goodbye.

  1. You don’t notice the red flags. If you’re all about the positive stuff, you might not notice reasons to get out of the relationship because you’re only seeing how sweet and charming your partner is, not how manipulative they can be. You basically have honeymoon phase blinkers on.
  2. You might be getting manipulated. The person you’re dating is showing you their best side during the honeymoon phase, which is why it feels like they’re your perfect partner. But they might be trying too hard to make themselves appear to be perfect, which can lead you to a nightmare situation. Love-bombing is a perfect example of this.
  3. You’re not always enjoying the experience. During the honeymoon phase, everything’s going so well that you probably feel like you don’t want to rock the boat. So when your partner suggests going on an adventure-filled holiday, you might say yes even though you’re not really into that. While experiencing new things outside of your comfort zone can be great, doing what you don’t really feel like doing non-stop is no fun.  
  4. You’re not comfortable. You might tell your friends how much you and your partner are alike and get along, but during the honeymoon phase, your relationship is often still too new for it to feel completely comfortable. That sense of comfort and trust only comes later, once you’ve gotten to know each other on a more intimate level—and after a few fights!
  5. You’re putting your best foot forward. So is your partner. You’re trying to give each other the best impression you can so that you stay together and get each other’s approval, but when the honeymoon phase ends, that’s when our real selves show. That’s when things get so much better.
  6. You have questions. While you’re living it up and feeling blissed out by your partner, you can’t deny you have a few worries and questions like, “Does he really like me?” and “When will he decide to DTR?” Once you reach that relationship milestone of defining things, you might be out of the honeymoon phase but you could very well be onto something so much better—and which doesn’t leave you frazzled with nerves.
  7. Things don’t feel real. Have you ever been in the honeymoon phase and felt like you were in a dream? Yeah, that’s a good thing, but when things are too exciting, too perfect, and too much fun, then they’re not made to last. Sooner or later, reality will come knocking. That’s a healthy thing! You need to see the real, mundane parts of the relationship if it’s going to have real staying power.
  8. You’re focusing too much on the spark. Everyone wants to feel that spark and the honeymoon phase is basically filled with that intense chemistry. That’s what makes it feel so good. However, the spark is sometimes all smoke and mirrors. What’s happening when that spark dies down—in other words, when the honeymoon phase packs its bags and leaves—is what’s more important.
  9. You’re so carefree. When you start dating someone new, you want to be someone they love being around. Basically, during the honeymoon phase, you might not want to show them how jealous you can be or how anxious you feel at times. You try hard to be the fun, carefree person you think they want but it’s not entirely who you are. Isn’t it better to be loved for everything you are, flaws and all?
  10. You’re neglecting your friends. The start of a new relationship can feel amazing and addictive. You want to spend all your free time with this new person who’s bringing you so much joy and happiness. This could cause you to neglect your friends for a while, which isn’t fair or fun for them.
  11. Things are still casual. You might want to be around each other all the time, but things are technically still casual. That’s what makes them so much fun. However, there are better things in store after the honeymoon phase—something more real, serious, and stable. The excitement doesn’t have to disappear, of course, but that rush isn’t healthy if it lasts forever.
  12. You’re not getting enough sleep. Who has time to sleep when you’re so crazy in love, right? Well, it might sound like fun, but it can take its toll. A survey of 3,000 people found that people get much less sleep during the honeymoon phase—30 minutes every night, which adds up to 15 hours of less sleep in a month. You need to recharge your batteries so you don’t feel like a zombie! How else are you supposed to kick butt in the rest of your life?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.