Feeling comfortable with your boyfriend is an important and non-negotiable part of any healthy relationship. If you don’t feel like you can talk to him about absolutely anything, why are you with him? Sure, there are some things you might prefer to keep to yourself, but these things shouldn’t be on that list.
- What happens in the bedroom I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you’re not comfortable talking about sex with your boyfriend then you shouldn’t be having it, simple as that. You need to be able to discuss sex in detail with your boyfriend—what you like him doing, what you don’t like him doing, what you would like to try next time, etc. If you don’t communicate your sexual needs, how can he possibly satisfy you? Talking about sex is the only way things will progress.
- How you feel about his friends If there’s a reason his best friend makes you feel uncomfortable, let him know how you feel. You’re not going to like everyone he introduces you to and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if one of his friends has done something to offend you then don’t assume that your boyfriend will be upset if you speak out about it. Chances are, he’ll just be relieved that you were honest.
- That you’re struggling with your mental health Assuming that he’s a great guy, he’ll be a shoulder to cry on and not someone who makes you feel bad for feeling sad. It’s not embarrassing to talk about your mental health and anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable for talking about it isn’t someone worth keeping in your life.
- Your money situation In a new relationship, money can be an awkward subject, but it’s one that can’t be avoided. It doesn’t really matter who’s earning more in the relationship—if you’re struggling, you should probably mention that to your boyfriend so you can hold off on going out for meals and booking holidays. And when it comes to splitting the costs of things including birth control, bills, and other expenses, you definitely need to have that conversation.
- When you want some time alone You shouldn’t feel bad about telling your boyfriend that you need a bit of space. It’s understandable that you don’t want to see or speak to him all the time and he should be OK with that. It can start to feel suffocating if someone wants to talks to you every minute of the day and that can put a strain on your relationship, so it’s better to have the conversation sooner than later.
- Your exes Sure, talking about your exes in front of your boyfriend might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but you don’t have to go into any detail. By not having the conversation about people you’ve dated in the past, it’s holding you back from getting closer to him. After all, the people we’ve met and the relationships we’ve had can have a huge impact on our lives—and wouldn’t you like to give your boyfriend some insight into your past? It’s really not something to be embarrassed about.
- When you don’t want to have sex You don’t owe anyone sex. If you’re feeling ill, tired, or for whatever reason you’re just not in the mood to have sex then there’s no reason you should keep it from your boyfriend. If he reacts in a way that you don’t want him to then you’ll know that you need to end things immediately. If he’s a decent human being, he’ll be glad that you told him.
- When you don’t feel like going out There are days when the thought of leaving the house can seem overwhelming and scary, especially for those with anxiety. You shouldn’t force yourself to go out just because you don’t want to explain the reason why to your boyfriend. If you’d rather not talk about your mental health, just tell him that you’d prefer to stay at home and rearrange to go out another day. Chances are, your boyfriend won’t see it as a big deal and you’ll feel glad that you told him the truth.
- Your plans for the future It’s easy to forget about the future in a new relationship, especially if you’re not sure how long it will last. However, if you can actually picture this guy being in your life long-term then you need to make sure that you’re on the same page about certain things. After all, you don’t want to find out years down the line that he wants to have kids while you’d rather be the proud owner of five dogs.
- Your period Let me make this clear—you should feel comfortable talking about your period. Minus the bleeding and painful cramps (and a long list of other awful symptoms), it’s an amazing thing that you shouldn’t be embarrassed talking about with your boyfriend. In fact, if he tells you that your period is “gross” or tries to make you feel uncomfortable about it, then to be honest, you should be questioning whether this guy is someone who you want to be with. If he thinks something as natural as a period is disgusting then that speaks volumes about the kind of person he is and you’d be better off without him. Period.
