If You Think I’m Too Good for You, Then You’re Probably Right

If You Think I’m Too Good for You, Then You’re Probably Right ©iStock/vitapix

The idea that someone might be “out of your league” might be made up, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold power. If you believe it then it’s probably true, purely based on the fact that you buy into that BS. I can’t give a guy confidence — if you want to be with me then you have to believe you’re good enough and prove it in the way you treat me. Otherwise, I’m so much better off without you.

  1. I can’t be your source of self-esteem. Further than that, I won’t be. Why should I love you if you don’t even love yourself? You have to believe you’re good enough because no one else is going to believe it for you. Certainly not me. I have my own problems, and I’m not going to waste my time solving yours. You have to fix yourself first and then, and only then, can you try to be with me.
  2. If you’re good enough, then prove it. Be confident and show me that you’re worthy of my love. I don’t want to have to convince a guy he’s good enough for me. It’s you who should be convincing me. We’re both selling ourselves to one another, but you’re presenting yourself as defective product, and no woman wants to buy that.
  3. The mind has all the power. You’re not good enough for me because that’s what you believe, and if you believe it then I will too. It might be all in your head, but the fact that you believe it makes it real. So if you want me to think you’re good enough, start thinking it about yourself.
  4. You have to believe you’re worthy of love. That’s the key to finding love — knowing that you deserve it. If you don’t feel worthy, then you’ll always feel like you’re not good enough. It doesn’t matter whether or not I give you a chance, because even if I do, you can’t accept a love you don’t deserve.
  5. Stop ranking people, including yourself. Why are you labeling people and putting them in categories of good vs. bad? These leagues exist because you’re giving them power, so just stop. Stop feeding into the BS idea that you can rate someone on a scale of 1-10. Stop listening to the little voice inside your head telling you you’re not good enough.
  6. Why should I give you a shot? If you don’t even think you deserve a chance, then why would I give you one? You wouldn’t go into an interview and tell them you don’t deserve the job. You apply because even if you don’t have all the credentials, you believe you could do a good job, and that’s exactly what I want from you too.
  7. We should both feel lucky to find each other. Neither one of us should have to settle, and if you really loved me, why would you want me to settle for a guy who’s not good enough for me? I want a guy who’s better than just “good enough.” Don’t you want that too? We should both be reaching for the best and not settling for anything less.
  8. If you think I’m better off without you, maybe I am. Who am I to disagree? I’m not going to risk my heart again — I’ll take your word for it. If you don’t think you’re good enough, then there’s a reason for it, and if you think that reason is big enough then it must be true. The only thing I can do here is trust you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.