I Think I Like Sexting More Than Actual Sex—Here’s Why

Having sex really isn’t as simple to me as people make it out to be. There are a lot of variables that lead up to that one moment, and a whole host of other concerns to worry about during and after. Taking all this into consideration, it’s not hard to understand why sexting might seem like a better option, right?

  1. It’s Way Less Awkward. Let’s be real—not every sexual encounter is all suave moves and seductive gazes. Sometimes, especially if you’re new to the game, you don’t know what to do with your arms or what you should say or if you should say anything at all. Sexting cuts out all these awkward moments. Not knowing what to say is never a problem because you have Google and your best friend right at your fingertips. The perfect sexy text is a non-issue between all three of you. Your indecisive arms and legs only have to make an appearance in a photo where you get to choose all your angles. Everyone wins, really.
  2. Not Having To Worry about Body Insecurity Is A Plus. I know, I know—I should be confident in my own skin and if he doesn’t like it then screw him, but we all know that’s easier said than done. Unless you have some kick ass self-confidence, you don’t want a random person seeing every bit of your completely naked body. This is where sexting becomes a life saver. Angles truly become your best friend in the game of sexting. Show them just enough but not too much with just the right lighting and you’re all set. Showing off only your best assets is a no-go during actual sex unless you keep your clothes on. Where’s the fun in that?
  3. No Accidental Babies. Yes, we all know condoms and birth control are a thing, but they aren’t 100 percent effective. Accidents can happen and when they do, they usually result in one of two things—a baby or an STD. While one is clearly better than the other—that’s the baby, if it wasn’t obvious—an unplanned pregnancy can cause a whole host of problems. With sexting, both participants get to enjoy themselves knowing with all certainty that there won’t be a little bundle of joy to take care of nine months from now.
  4. You can test out kinks without embarrassment. Nobody wants the awkwardness of testing out a random kink during sex and having your partner completely hate it. Not everyone will like the same things in bed that you do, and sexting is a great way to test the waters before diving right in. Slipping in a kink during sexy conversation is the perfect way to gauge whether or not your partner is into the same things you are and avoid an awkward situation.
  5. You don’t have to pretend you’re enjoying it. The secret has long been out that a large number of us ladies have been faking the big O because our men simply don’t know how to please us. A lot of men still think sticking it in over and over is the only thing they need to do, and while that may work for some women, it doesn’t work for a vast majority. A lot of women also don’t tell their partners and end up extremely unsatisfied. This isn’t a problem during sexting. You are essentially in control of your own pleasure. You can easily lead the conversation the way you want it to go and only depend on him to provide visuals or a little worded push along. Your fun is in your own hands… literally.
  6. You don’t have to go all the way with a person you don’t trust. Not everyone is completely comfortable with the concept of one night stands. I know a lot of women who won’t have sex with a guy unless they’ve known each other for at least half a year or more. So what do you do with mutual attraction but a reluctance to have actual sex? You sext it up, that’s what. With sexting, you aren’t in a position of complete vulnerability and you can stop anytime you get uncomfortable. There’s also the option of not sending pictures and only heating it up with words if you don’t trust the person enough to show them that much.
  7. There are fewer chances for something to go wrong. You really don’t have to search long and hard to find literally thousands, if not millions of instances of women being forced to carry out sexual acts they didn’t consent to. A recent trend of men removing condoms or filming sexual encounters without the woman’s consent is also something that would make any woman wary of starting a sexual relationship. Sexting gives the woman the option to bow out whenever she wants to without fear of being forced. Sexting tips like leaving your face and any distinguishable marks out of nude pictures also take the extreme vulnerability out of the situation. The downsides to sexting are few and far between, while I could go on and on about horror stories from actual sex.
I like to think the phrase "Lover not a fighter" was specifically designed with me in mind. 21 year old island girl who's just trying to understand the world by writing about it :)