I Think I Might Be TOO Independent—Is That Possible?

I’m proud as hell of how strong, independent and self-sufficient I am, but I’m starting to be afraid I’ve taken it a little too far. I’m really happy where I am now, but I’m worried I’ve cut myself off from social interactions a little too much in the process.

  1. I can easily spend a week alone. There have been weeks that have gone by where I haven’t really hung out with anyone. Sure, I’ve spoken with my mom and texted friends during those weeks, but that’s about it. I can go to work Monday through Friday, spend my weekends alone, and be perfectly content. I’m not sure if this is independence or just getting older. One thing is for certain—I no longer feel guilty staying home on a Friday night!
  2. I prefer to cook and eat alone. I was in a pretty serious long-term relationship and during that time, I ate like crap. It’s so difficult to stick to your goals when you get home and someone is offering to order pizza or wants to check out the new Thai place that opened around the corner. I just can’t say no! When I’m alone, I cook more and have healthier meals. I don’t have the same temptation to go out or order food for delivery. My waistline is much happier!
  3. I’d rather stay in with a glass of wine than go out on another first date. There, I said it. I’m just over the dating scene. It’s so much worse than being alone. I’m tired of crafting dating profiles and having the same mundane small talk at the same “date night” restaurants. It’s exhausting and not very rewarding. A glass of wine and HBO Go? That I can get behind!
  4. I’m enjoying saving money. Without a huge social calendar, I’m saving SO much money! I honestly never realized how much I was spending out at bars every weekend. Especially living in the city, drinks out can really eat away at a paycheck. Instead of blowing money on pointless items, I now save more and occasionally treat myself to higher-quality purchases.
  5. I already have a cat. She’s the sweetest thing on the planet (obviously not biased) and I love her far too much. She makes my life pretty complete. I wouldn’t mind becoming a total cat lady. That life seems like it’s full of snuggles and entertainment!
  6. I hate talking on the phone. I find most phone conversations to be painful—they’re one of my least favorite things. I obviously call my good friends who have moved away, but other than that, phone calls are not something I love or seek out. Being slightly introverted has definitely led me to be even more independent.
  7. I’m actually enjoying going to the gym. Now that I’m not tied down with a boyfriend or having tons of social engagements, I’ve actually been going to the gym! I’ve been able to come up with a schedule that works for me and have been busy trying out different group classes. It’s been a lot of fun and a great way to work through stress. I also have a lot more energy!
  8. My career has become my focus. Social engagements and boyfriends are great, but right now my career comes first. Like most people in their mid to late 20s, I feel like right now is a pivotal point in my career. I want to get ahead and have certain goals in mind that I want to reach by the time I’m 30. My drive to be successful has made my work a priority, and I’ve become much more independent as a result.
  9. Making new friends as an adult is hard. There’s one of the biggest understatements ever. For someone who already has independent tendencies, not having structured time like school to make friends has been tough. I moved far away from my hometown and really do not have a lot of close friends here. Nevermind dating! How do normal people meet and become friends? I’m not exactly interested in making friends with the people I work with either. Of course, I enjoy their company, but I like to have some separation between my work and my free time.
  10. There’s nothing like curling up with a good book. I think one of my biggest issues is that I am really good at entertaining myself. I love to read at night. It’s something I look forward to each day. It also helps me wind down and destress from long hours in the office. My reading time is something that I hate to give up. There’s also an endless amount of books to read, so my list never ends!
  11. Guys, my apartment has never been neater. When I lived with my ex, it wasn’t only his eating habits that rubbed off on me. He was also a little bit on the messy side. If I’m being 100 percent honest, I have to say that I’m not the neatest person on the planet either. I’m definitely not Type A (I like to consider myself a solid A- if anything), so keeping a clean apartment is something I have to consciously work at. When there’s someone else making a mess that I have to clean up, I lose all motivation. Dishes pile up, laundry needs to get done, everything spirals out of control. Now that I’ve been living on my own, I’ve been able to keep my apartment so much cleaner! It’s nice to come home and not have papers everywhere. I don’t want to give that up!
Victoria Hill is a freelance writer in Boston. Originally from Florida, she is slowly becoming accustomed to Boston winters. She loves writing, coffee, and actually experiencing seasons!