You Might Think You’re Ready For Love, But Here’s Why You May Not Be

You Might Think You’re Ready For Love, But Here’s Why You May Not Be

Getting into a new relationship is a big deal, and oftentimes, things have to line up perfectly before it can work out. When you find someone you really like, it can be easy to want to jump in head-first to start your new love story. But before you get into something serious, make sure these things don’t apply to you:

  1. You’re Still Not Over Your Ex. It can take a significant amount of time to truly get over someone. Sure, you can date during the time you’re trying to get over your ex, but you shouldn’t settle down into a relationship. Diving head-first into a relationship when you know you’re not over your ex can leave you feeling confused and guilty the entire relationship, which is unfair to both you and the new guy.
  2. You’re Not Happy With Yourself. If you’re seriously not happy with yourself, whether you don’t like your appearance or where you’re at in life, it’s definitely not the time to settle down into a relationship. When you feel so terrible about yourself, you can bring someone else down right with you. If you’re truly unhappy with yourself, that’s not going to change just because you’re dating someone.
  3. You spend too much time obsessing over relationships. How much time do you space out and find yourself thinking about finding Mr. Right, wondering where you’ll meet him and why you haven’t met him yet? It’s okay to wonder, but when it gets in the way of your job and social life, you’re definitely not ready for a relationship.
  4. You’re In a Rush To Get Married. It’s okay and perfectly normal to want to get married eventually. However, when you find yourself focusing on it and start having wedding ideas the moment you lock eyes with a cute guy, you need to step back. If you’re obsessing about a wedding, then chances are pretty high that you’ll settle into a relationship with the wrong guy for all the wrong reasons. Live in the present rather than immediately thinking of every guy you meet as marriage material.
  5. You’re Scared Of Commitment. Whether you don’t like the thought of being with just one person, getting hurt scares you, or if you’re just too independent, commitment issues are reason enough to avoid relationships. You both need to be 100 percent into it to have a successful relationship.
  6. Your Career Is Everything. There are some people who can handle a full-time career and a relationship. But if you’re so committed to your career that it leaves little time for anything else, it may be best to wait until you’ve established a rhythm in your life. Once you have more time, then you can settle into a relationship without stressing yourself or your partner out.
  7. You Feel Pressured. Whether you feel stressed because friends and family remind you of your age all the time or because those same people are reminding you how long you’ve been single, you don’t have to settle. Who cares if you’re 25 and still single? You’re still trying to sort out your life, and you haven’t found the right one. It’s okay, really. You do you and ignore the comments.
  8. You Just Need Someone To Save You. You have to learn how to make it on your own. If you’re looking for someone to protect you from yourself, then you should stay as far away from a relationship as you can. You’re a strong woman, and acting like you’re anything but that is only going to attract the wrong type of men.
  9. You’re not flexible. Not everyone likes change. However, when you make a commitment to someone and settle down into a relationship, you have to be willing to make reasonable sacrifices. If you have absolutely no room in your life to make changes, it’s best to avoid a relationship until you can.
  10. You’re Trying To Be Someone You’re Truly Not. If you’re going out of your way trying to impress someone new, is it really worth it? If this guy has a specific interest and you have to pretend like you don’t hate it, it doesn’t bode well for your future. Be yourself, and you’ll eventually find someone who adores you for exactly who you are.
Heather Burdo is a freelance writer from New York. She enjoys writing about relationships, parenting, and health topics. Visit her at www.heatherburdo.com