Sometimes it’s tempting to hook up with one of your closest friends. He’s there, he’s available, and he’s totally into it, so why not? Well, because it’ll probably be a major mistake that you’ll never be able to fix.
Hooking up with close friends is one of the worst decisions you can make — I can’t stress this enough. Trust me when I say that one or both of you won’t be able to handle it. Besides, you have a great thing going as is. Keep things as friends and hook up with someone else.
You’re already too close.
I know this is the appeal of choosing a close friend over someone else. Remember that sex is extremely intimate. You’re flirting with a relationship here. You already care deeply for each other. If you don’t want a relationship, don’t have sex.
Friends with benefits doesn’t always work out.
It’s hard to have sex without feeling something. If you’re ready to follow all the rules, great. If not, your great idea for sex and friendship is just a ticking time bomb. What happens when the bomb goes off is anyone’s guess. In my experience, we quit speaking and haven’t seen each other in years.
Can you handle them dating someone else?
You’ve seen every side of your friend. Can you honestly say you wouldn’t be jealous if they stopped hooking up with you to date someone? It’s one of the nasty side effects of already being close to each other. It’s hard to not let your jealousy get the best of you and treat his new flame like crap.
Do you really want them to see you naked?
There are just some things even your closest friends don’t really need to know about you. Are you comfortable hanging out a week later knowing they saw you naked? Especially if you’re trying to keep the situation quiet from the rest of your friends. It’s not like either one of you can just unsee each other’s naked bodies.
Sex can and does ruin friendships.
Go ahead and ask your friends what happens when sex and friends mix. At least one of them will tell you that it does change things. For many, it completely ruins the friendship. There’s a reason why friends are often afraid to date. Casual sex with friends is a risky move.
Someone usually wants more.
It’s great at first. You’re both having fun and you feel like you’re nailing (pun totally intended) this whole friends with benefits thing. Then one of you starts wanting more. It starts with a date before hooking up, then it’s extended cuddle time and finally the L-bomb hits. If you’re not both on the same page, someone’s getting hurt.
It’s awkward for everyone else.
Your other friends will find out. They know you and they can tell when you’re banging someone. It’s not hard to figure out who when you’re both in the same room. Now, it gets awkward. Do they laugh about it? Is it okay to talk about? Is it okay to for them to hook up with you, too? What’s going to happen when things go south? Don’t put your friends through this.
Cheating is way too tempting.
Even when you’re both dating someone else, you keep remembering how comfortable it was hooking up with someone you have so much in common with. Every time you’re together, it’s tempting to just let your hormones take over. Seeing someone you hook up with often is too much temptation when you’re in a committed relationship. Are you ready to risk future relationships over this?
If something embarrassing happens, you can’t just leave it behind.
Did the world’s loudest and most rank odor explode out of you during the big finale? You could run away and never look back with a regular hookup. With a close friend, you are going to see them the next day and they won’t hesitate to laugh about it. What happens in the bedroom isn’t going to stay in the bedroom.
Other friends might get jealous.
The friend you’re hooking up with might not be the only one interested in seeing you with your pants around your ankles. Jealousy isn’t good for friendships. While you might not ruin your relationship with one friend, it might extend to others in your friend group, too.
It’ll bite you in the ass when you’re dating someone.
You might be fine with having your boyfriend and hookup hanging out together, but he might not be. Your boyfriend isn’t going to be thrilled that the person you’re hanging out with all the time was an ex friends with benefits. It could drive a wedge between you.
There are plenty of people to hook up with. Leave your close friends off the menu. It’s not worth it.
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