It can be tough to believe that a guy’s for real when he’s telling you how amazing you are. It’s partially because we all have insecurities and partially because a lot of men are full of it. If you’re pretty sure he’s genuine, though, try and get over your hang-ups. Here are some ways to allow yourself to receive the affection he’s trying to give:
- Accept his compliments. The worst thing you can do to someone saying nice things to you is dismiss those statements. It makes him feel like you don’t value what he thinks and eventually he’ll stop complimenting you at all. Think about how you would feel if it was the other way around – super awkward, right? Even if you’re uncomfortable, smile and say thank you.
- Give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you don’t trust his enthusiasm for you because you’ve been screwed over by guys in the past. That’s perfectly reasonable, but try to remember that he’s not every other guy. It’s not fair to judge him by the behavior of your exes. He’s doing the best he can but he can’t fight your determination to doubt his authenticity. Ease up and try to believe he actually means what he says.
- Trust him until he gives you a reason to not to. It’s much easier to take someone at face value than spend all your time mistrusting and doubting him. That’s a lot of energy to waste on imagined problems. He hasn’t done anything to show you that he’s lying or trying to screw you over, so relax and allow yourself to believe that he thinks you’re great. If he ends up doing something to make you question that belief, then you can proceed with caution.
- Never put yourself down in front of him. You shouldn’t be putting yourself down to anyone. You shouldn’t even be putting yourself down in your head, but that disparaging voice can get really strong over the years if you don’t control it. By trusting that he thinks well of you and trying to think well of yourself in turn, you may actually improve your own self-esteem. Don’t allow those bad thoughts into your head and definitely don’t allow them out of your mouth.
- Let him help and support you. This doesn’t necessarily mean financially, but it definitely means in every other aspect. He’s your partner — that makes the two of you a team. Allowing him to be a support and a help does not make you weak, or less independent, or less of an amazing human being. It simply means giving someone who cares for you the permission to show it. It means letting yourself be vulnerable.
- Be entirely yourself with him. He thinks that you are wonderful. You — not some image you present or someone you wish you were. You, with all your unique quirks, even if you sometimes consider them flaws. There’s no such thing. There’s just the specific composition of qualities that make you who you are. He takes all of it in stride and accepts you. While it’s amazing, it can absolutely be terrifying if you aren’t used to it. You have to let go.
- Show him your nerdy side — he’ll love it. It takes a lot of trust to let your dorkier personality out, but who better to do so with than a man who already thinks you’re awesome? You might feel stupid doing it, but try to let go of your self-judgment. If he’s truly the guy for you, he will embrace that side of you just as much as any other — maybe even more so, because he has one too! Everyone is a nerd deep down.
- Enjoy his obvious admiration. You’ve probably had your share of men who didn’t treat you the way you deserve. Now that you finally have one who does, you hardly even trust it. Let all that go and revel in the joy that a real partner brings. Whatever he sees in you, learn to appreciate it. Let him love you. It sounds so easy, but sometimes it’s the most difficult thing.
- Communicate with him openly and lovingly. Yes, love is scary. Sometimes it’s scarier than anything else. You have to really trust to let yourself be vulnerable with another human being. The best way to get over this is to talk to him. He already thinks you’re the best, so he won’t balk when you need to bring up your worries or your feelings or your concerns. He’ll put your fears at ease and the two of you can get on with being happily crazy about each other.
- Remind yourself that you’ve been waiting for a man who adores you. You’ve been through a lot with other guys. Maybe some of them never treated you well. Maybe some of them did and then they stopped, seemingly out of nowhere. Maybe you just had to part ways with some of them for other reasons. It’s been a long hard road, but you’ve finally met the guy who thinks you’re the most incredible woman in the world. Don’t discredit that or lose it because of your own insecurities. You’ll hate yourself if you do.
