This Is How You Know You’ve Finally Found A Guy Who’s Worth The Effort

Nothing’s worse than when you actually like someone and things get off to a good start, only to completely disintegrate before anything real develops. Because this has happened more times than you’d like to admit, it’s no wonder it’s hard to be optimistic when you’re finally dating a great guy and headed towards a committed relationship. So how do you know if this one is worth the effort? Here are 10 signs this could be the real deal:

  1. He talks confidently about the future — your future. Beware of men who shy away from mentioning the future, especially in relation to you. These guys are looking for some quick, dirty fun before they move along to the next chick. You don’t want to be one of many, queuing up to bed this guy. No, sir. When a guy talks about a future with you in it, it shows he wants to build something real, something that will last. That’s always a good sign.
  2. He never puts you down to score a cheap laugh. When a guy struggles with his own confidence levels, he may use you as a figurative punchbag. If the guy of your dreams is putting you down and knocking your confidence, he may be the guy of your nightmares. A real man, one who loves you, will never make you feel inadequate. Instead, he’ll go out of his way to show you how much you mean to him.
  3. He makes the effort to contact you. Here’s a secret that no one ever tells you: when a guy’s genuinely into you, he’ll move the world just to speak to you for a minute a day. No one is ever ‘too busy’ to make the time to talk to the person they like. If he goes out of his way to text or call you, he might just be worth your precious time.
  4. You can actually be yourself with him. This question shouldn’t be all that tricky to answer if he’s the right guy for you: when you’re alone with this guy, do you feel that you are totally yourself? When we’re uncomfortable in a situation, we tend to put on an act and pretend to be someone we’re not — a guy’s ideal woman. When things are just right, though, all the play acting melts away and what you have left is pure, beautiful reality.
  5. He gives you space when you need it most. There’s nothing worse in a relationship than a needy guy. When a man lusts after your attention day in, day out, you need to cut him loose ASAP. The dream is a guy who’s there for you when it counts, but who also knows that you need a little space now and then. If you find that elusive guy, hold onto him.
  6. He gets along with your closest friends. Your best friends know you better than anyone else in the world. You have to be brave enough to trust them and hear them when they voice their doubts about things. If this dream guy of yours is able to win over your gal pals, he might just be worth it. If they see red flags when they meet him, though, beware. They usually know what they’re talking about.
  7. He earns his own money — and never asks for yours. Just as you need to be financially independent from your boyfriend, he needs to pay you the same courtesy. You shouldn’t be relying on one another for cash by any means. Doing so will only make things needlessly complicated. Instead, you need a guy that pays his own way and never asks you for loans.
  8. He has his own stuff going on. While you might idealize the notion, you don’t want or need a guy who is all about you. If you’re to have a happy relationship, you need someone who has his own stuff going on. He should have his own dreams, goals, and social life. Otherwise, you both run the risk of falling into a seriously toxic relationship.
  9. He never puts on a show to impress you. Just like you need to be real with your guy, you need him to be real with you. The very last thing that you need is someone who is fake to impress you. When you get the sense that someone’s putting on an award-winning performance, get rid of them. You need a man who’s confident in his authentic personality — and willing to show it to you.
  10. He remembers the little things about you. Finally, here’s one that’s a little cliche but ridiculously true. When guy remembers the small stuff you tell him, it’s because he honestly cares about you. He listens to the things you say because, to him, they’re meaningful. If a guy seems forgetful, it’s because his heart isn’t really in it. Forget him and find someone who gives a damn about everything you say and do.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.