If you believe everything you see in rom-coms and Disney movies, you develop a view of love that’s not only a bit unrealistic, it’s downright false. It’s not all butterflies and romantic embraces when you finally meet your person — the truth is a bit messier but a whole lot better than that. Here’s what falling in love really feels like.
You wonder if it’s too good to be true. This is natural and it happens to everyone. After so many terrible dating experiences, you just can’t believe that you’ve finally found someone who’s so perfectly suited to you. Where’s the catch? When you begin to second guess how well things are going, you know you’ve got it bad.
You convince yourself it’s definitely too good to be true. You don’t just worry that you’re going to get hurt again. When you’re falling in love, it feels like you’re definitely going to have your heart smashed into a million pieces. And yet, you’re powerless to stop it, and if you’re honest, you really don’t want to.
You freak out thinking they’re going to leave you for someone “better.” When you’re falling in love, it feels like every insecurity you’ve ever had in your life comes rushing back in full force and completely overwhelms you. You suddenly wonder if you’re not good enough and if they’re going to find someone “better.” Never mind the fact that there’s no such thing as better in their eyes. You’re meant for each other, after all.
You worry about messing things up. Once you manage to talk some sense into yourself and realize that you just have to let go and trust the process, that’s when the real dose of crazy kicks in. It’s suddenly no longer about them screwing you over, but you doing something to screw the whole situation up. When you’re falling in love, you worry that you’ll do something that changes how they feel about you. That’s terrifying.
You feel like you could throw up just thinking about losing them. The panic that sets in when you’re falling for someone is too real. You literally feel sick to your stomach at the idea of losing them when you’ve waited so long to find them in your life. It’s an irrational fear, you know deep down, but that doesn’t stop it from keeping you up at night.
You start to realize you’ve found the real deal. After you make it through the initial stages of pure terror and dread, a realization dawns on you: this is real. You’ve gone through so much with so many people who were all wrong for you and you never gave up. You believed that true love was out there and now, you’ve actually found it. Once it dawns on you that they’re there and they’re yours, it’s incredible.
You feel an overwhelming sense of peace and contentedness. This is when falling in love feels like the most incredible experience in the whole world. Instead of neverending butterflies (though those are still there), a huge sense of peace descends in its place. You feel completely at home with them and the relationship. It’s like they’ve always been there all along.
You understand that this is what love is supposed to be like. There were times in your past when you thought you were in love. It’s only in hindsight that you realize that you were so wrong. Your past relationships weren’t all bad, but many of them were toxic, dysfunctional, and masquerading as love when they really weren’t. It’s not until you actually meet someone who’s on your wavelength and begin falling in love that you realize how good it feels. It’s supposed to feel this good. Remember that.
You wish you met them sooner because you feel like you’ve missed out on more time with them. You know you’re head over heels for someone when you’re constantly thinking about how much better your life would have been if only you’d met them sooner. You think of all the disastrous relationships you’ve been through and how, if you’d met your person earlier, you never would have gone through that trauma. What you have to remember is that things happen for a reason. Everything you’ve been through has led you to this person, so you have to be grateful.
You finally understand that the fairytales got it wrong. Everything you grew up believing about love and relationships was totally wrong. It cheapened the experience and actually made it seem dull in comparison to the real deal. Falling in love feels like you’re on top of the world, but not in a Disney movie way. The truth is so much better than that.
You want to feel like this for the rest of your life. You know that people fall out of love all the time, but when you’re falling into it, you can’t even entertain the idea. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you’ll stay head over heels forever. For now, don’t think that far ahead. You have someone incredible right there in front of you and you’re completely crazy about each other. Enjoy it for what it is and stay in the moment. It’s a pretty special one.