We’d been dating for about a month when I met his friends and family for the first time at my boyfriend’s birthday dinner. While it was a sweet idea, it was ultimately a bad thing for our relationship because it made me see him in a totally different light.
No one greeted me when they saw me.
Maybe it’s just me, but if I was meeting my friend’s partner for the first time, I’d be excited or at least curious. I didn’t get that vibe from anyone. No one said anything when we walked in the house; no one so much as said hello. My boyfriend had to introduce me himself, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but didn’t get the night off to a good start.
They didn’t know my name.
Even though my boyfriend introduced me, his friends completely forgot my name. His dad and a couple of his bros repeatedly asked me what it was and I don’t know if they were joking or if they were serious. Either way, it started to really piss me off and made me wonder if my boyfriend ever mentioned me.
His dad was kind of a scumbag.
His dad cheated on his mom. I knew that, but what I didn’t know was that his dad was actually proud of his actions. Throughout the entire dinner, he boasted about sleeping with “young girls.” At one point, he even took out his phone to show me a picture of the aspiring model he was currently seeing. WTF?
I couldn’t relate to their humor.
They told fart jokes and too many stories that started like, “That one time when we drove drunk…” There’s nothing more unattractive to me than people who do reckless, dangerous things and think they’re funny or something worth being proud of. Ugh.
His brother was incredibly arrogant.
His brother thought he was God’s gift to the rest of the world. He only talked about himself — his job, his friends, the 3.8 GPA he had in college. The dude was 30, so why he was throwing it back to college and his decent GPA was beyond me! While my boyfriend wasn’t really like that, it did make me wonder how he could be related to people like this.
His friends brought up his ex-girlfriend.
It should be Guy Code Rule #1 to never, ever mention an ex-girlfriend in front of a current girlfriend, especially if it’s the first time meeting her. The fact that his friends felt the need to mention his ex’s name was completely shocking to me. I didn’t need to know my boyfriend was caught sleeping with his ex in his buddy’s car. TMI.
His mom seemed totally uninterested.
I don’t know if I can blame her. I can’t say I’d be super talkative if I was spending time with the husband who cheated on me and left me for a much younger woman. In fact, I can’t say I’d be hosting a dinner with that man at all. Still, she barely spoke and seemed completely disinterested in the whole evening, which made me wonder why she was there at all.
They drank WAY too much.
It was a birthday party, so of course there was going to be alcohol. I didn’t care that they were drinking — I cared that they were getting sloppy drunk. I’m sorry, but this was a dinner; it wasn’t a fraternity party or a night out with the boys. There was no need for my boyfriend and his friends to get almost blackout drunk while at dinner with me and two people in their 50s.
His childhood female friend was a problem for me.
I knew he had a female friend that he’d known since he was little, but I didn’t know she was important enough to him to be at that dinner or that she was drop-dead gorgeous. We’re talking Gigi Hadid gorgeous! Worse, his friends loved her, which was very uncomfortable and a huge red flag.
His friends were all single.
I just assumed my boyfriend’s friends would have significant others, and maybe that was my fault. I just never would’ve imagined I’d be one of three girls at a party (the other being his mom and his “childhood friend”). Am I the only who thinks it’s a little suspicious when all of a dude’s friends are single? It made me feel like my boyfriend might want to stay on the scene with them…
They didn’t ask me any questions.
Not a one! I was prepared to answer a ton of questions — I even rehearsed my answers beforehand — but nobody wanted to know a single thing about me. Weird, right? I was a newbie, a stranger, so why didn’t they give a damn? Again, all it did was make me doubt my place in my boyfriend’s life, and I kinda wish I’d never met them.
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