About a year ago, my very best friend in the world started to ghost me. I’m talking about the girl I grew up with, the one who was always there when crap went down, and the one who still calls my parents “Mom and Dad.” I thought we were BFFs, maybe even soulmates… until she got a new boyfriend.
I can’t remember the last time we just hung out for no reason. Before BoyfriendGate, we hung out ALL the time. She usually wouldn’t even call — she’d just show up at my door, wine bottle in hand, with a big grin on her face. She treated my apartment like her second home and I had zero problem with that. In fact, I loved it. These days, it’s like I have to schedule a damn appointment with her to even get her on the phone. Most of our text conversations consist of me practically begging her to make time for me and her giving every reason under the sun as to why she can’t.
She takes forever to respond to me these days (if she does at all). Before she fell in love, we had a running stream of conversation going. It was hard to tell where one chat ended and the next began because we basically messaged one another about every tiny thing that happened. It’s not quite the same now. She’ll think nothing of leaving me hanging for two or even three days straight. Like, come on — I can see those little blue ticks below the message. Get back to me already!
And yet, she’s constantly active on social media (with him)! It’s not as though she’s just fallen off the face of the earth. Don’t make the mistake of thinking she’s just ultra busy at work or whatever. That’s BS — she’s free as a bird. She’s got time to check-in online 50 times a day whenever she and her new guy pick up a coffee, have a meal, or even just stay in with Netflix. I don’t want to be that girl, but it’s sickening. Why does she think the world needs to know about her every move?
When I do see her, he’s all she talks about. On the seriously rare occasions she deems me worthy of her presence, she has just one topic of conversation in mind. At first, I was more than happy to hear all about her new guy — he sounded perfect for her and I wanted to know what his deal was. That was a good 10 months ago. Now, if have to hear one more quirky little anecdote about the dude, I’m gonna freak out. It doesn’t matter what I start talking about, she always has a way of bringing the topic back around to little Mr. Perfect.
He even turns up when we’re meant to be having girl time. She gives zero f*cks about breaking the cardinal rule of female friendship. Yeah, you guessed it — she invites him to ‘girl only’ events. For example, she, another friend, and I met up for a little day drinking session recently. It was meant to be a chance for the three of us to catch up and find out what’s been happening, and for the first 25 minutes, it was just that. Then she got a text that her boyfriend was outside. The guy waltzed right in like he was one of the ladies and ordered a drink. Not cool.
She pretends that she didn’t know he was coming. I’d get it if she was even remotely honest about how douchey she’s being, but she’s not. Him randomly turning up when we’re together is a common theme these days, and every damn time she has the nerve to act surprised. She’ll look me in the eye and tell me it was “spur of the moment” and then act like that’s a legit excuse. It’s absolutely infuriating.
Despite us having a yearly tradition, she ‘forgot’ my Christmas present last year. I didn’t want to bring this up for fear of sounding like a brat, but to hell with it. We’ve given one another presents since we were old enough to have an allowance. Every year, without fail, we’ve chosen gifts for one another — not big things, but small, significant presents. This year, I picked out a book I knew she’d been meaning to read, wrapped it in pink paper and even added a bow. Do you want to know what she got me? That’s right: a big fat nothing. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, she managed to buy her guy a PS4.
She asked to stay at my place… and then invited him too. To add salt to the wound, there was the time she asked to stay at my place recently. It’s awkward AF but I was positively gleeful. Finally, I thought, we’d get some time together. We met at a bar beforehand and, sure enough, she pulled the same old, “Oh, he’s on his way!” BS with me. Then, when it was time to head back to mine, he came along. He didn’t say anything; he just followed us like it was no big deal. I was too taken aback to say anything. And yes, he had an overnight bag with him.
I’m too nervous to rock the boat and just say something. So, why am ranting on the internet and not just confronting my friend? The truth is that I’m petrified to rock the boat. We don’t argue — we just don’t. Plus, I can see that she’s in too deep to hear me right now. The last thing I want is to go ahead and attack her when she doesn’t even see what she’s doing wrong.
I really do feel like I’m losing her now. Still, if I don’t say something soon, I’m pretty sure I’ll lose her anyway. Even when I see her now, things just aren’t the same. I feel as though her new guy’s slipped into my place and now there’s just no space for little old me. I’m hoping that’s not the case because I love her like a sister, and sisterhood is for life.
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