Thoughts You Have When Your Friends Keep Getting Into Relationships & You’ve Been Single Forever

Thoughts You Have When Your Friends Keep Getting Into Relationships & You’ve Been Single Forever ©iStock/mauro_grigollo

There’s nothing quite like the silent slap in the face you get from the universe when all your friends around you are effortlessly getting into new relationships and you’ve been single AF forever. You’ve been out there trying, putting your best effort forward and somehow, you’re still alone. It’s like, WTF? If this sounds like you, you’ve probably had some (or all) of these thoughts:

  1. “When will it be my turn?” It’s not as if you’ve been sitting on your butt this whole time waiting for the right guy to land in your lap. You’ve been trying. You’ve been swiping, checking and responding to messages, formulating thoughtful conversations trying to get to know someone and going on dates plenty —  so why hasn’t anything worked out yet?
  2. “Haven’t I been through enough?” You replay all of the dead end and almost relationships that got you here. You’ve been through a ton, and you’re wiser for it, but you’re also exhausted and you just want something to work out. Is it even fair that your friends didn’t even have to experience a fraction of what you have? Ugh.
  3. “He’d better be really worth it.” The guy you’ve been waiting for must be someone completely amazing. He has to be, right? For you to go through the surge of all of these defeated emotions has to be for something greater… at least that’s the hope.
  4. “How did she find someone so easily?” Even though you’re happy for your friend’s new-found happiness, you can’t help but wonder how it was so easy for her. Despite all of your efforts, it seems like everyone else is reaping the rewards,  and it really blows.
  5. “Where was he when I was on Tinder?” You’ll examine your friend’s new boyfriend — the one she found on the exact dating site you’ve been using for ages — and you’ll feel slightly jealous that you weren’t the one who crossed his path at the right moment. But then you remember that it wasn’t really about timing at all; it’s just that they connected and it happened to be a good match, which hasn’t happened for you (yet).
  6. “Something must be wrong with me.” The thought haunts you every time you see another new couple selfie drop. Why can’t it be you? You wonder how the sequence of events in your life and the choices you made landed you here and if it was something you did wrong.
  7. “Great, I’m the fifth wheel… AGAIN.” That first time you go out with your friends and find yourself the only single one out of the group yet again messes with your mind in itself when some of the couples with you are brand spankin’ new. It only adds insult to injury.
  8. “Seriously, I’ve done all the necessary work on myself, right?” You can’t help but feel bitter that you’ve spent so much time solo, working on yourself and bossing life on your own, yet those around you who haven’t spent more than a hot minute without a relationship never have to master that same struggle. The thought alone can be really consuming, but you’re on your own journey and that’s the only one you need to focus on.
  9. “My turn is coming… I can feel it!” A wave of optimism hits you. You know it’s only a matter of time before it’s finally your turn. Sure, your friends are getting into relationships, but that doesn’t mean they’re the right relationships. Love happens through trial and error, and even if you only have errors so far, you’re preparing for your final trail where victory will be the verdict.