Hot guys are lurking everywhere. Sometimes they appear with no warning and other times you see them majestically jogging in the distance at sunset. At some point in your life, one of these glorious hotties will give you the sexy eyes from across the room. Lots of things run through your head when this magical event occurs.
- “Is there something on my face?” Why could this fine specimen possibly be staring at you? Is there makeup smeared on your cheek? Kale stuck in your teeth? An insect crawling on your face? The uncertainty makes you want to sprint to the bathroom to make sure nothing’s wrong and that this guy is indeed checking you out, not a brain-burrowing insect on your face.
- “I’m not worthy.” You don’t feel like you’re on the same level as this guy. You’re flattered that he seems interested, but something in your head won’t let you believe that someone like this is into you. It must be a joke.
- “This is awkward yet awesome at the same time.” Behaving normally when you know someone’s checking you out is impossible. You’re annoyingly aware of everything you do. You’re trying not to act weird or stupid, but you’re also basking in the glory of this guy’s gaze.
- “I wonder what he looks like naked.” It’s okay to wonder. The only person that’s going to judge you is you… and maybe your friends, if you drunkenly let something slip. Then you’ll never hear the end of it.
- “The things I would do to you…” Let those fantasies run wild, you pervert.
- “He has such a nice smile.” Every time he flashes those pearly whites at you, you turn into a primitive version of yourself. You seem to lose all control over your grasp of socially appropriate facial expressions and other preappointed constructs deemed acceptable by society. You are an uncivilized monkey with poop stuck in your fur and he is a Greek god.
- “I should go talk to him.” You must know this attractive person, but you may need a little more liquid courage first. He intimidates you, but at the same time you feel a strong urge to strike up a conversation. More whiskey should bridge that annoying gap.
- “Shut up, you guys!” Your friends have likely noticed the guy that’s checking you out. They’ve also noticed that you are admiring his fine self, as well. Now they’re being obnoxious and talking really loudly, trying to embarrass the ever-living piss out of you. Every time you exchange a smile with the guy or he walks anywhere near you, your super supportive friends go, “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
- “Holy crap he’s coming over here.” Time doesn’t slow down as he approaches. There’s no cheesy chick flick sorcery going on here. You have no time to prepare yourself. He was at his table, but ten seconds later he’s arrived at yours. He’s here, right in front of your face, and you haven’t thought of anything to say. Don’t blow it, Awkward Annie.
- “I could listen to you talk for days.” He speaks smoothly and confidently. He doesn’t use any clichés and doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable. You have a lot of things in common and seem to share the same twisted sense of humor. Stop staring at his mouth, you idiot.
- “Why was I so nervous? He’s so nice.” You were psyching yourself out for nothing! This guy’s very laid back and easy to talk to. You have nothing to worry about and it seems your friends like him, too. He probably has other hot friends for your friends. You immediately flash forward to thoughts of everyone hanging out and getting hammered together with inspirational music playing in the background.
- “We exchanged numbers! SCORE!” It isn’t necessarily smooth sailing from here, but the first dating achievement has been unlocked. Now all you have to do is plan awesome dates and go on epic adventures together. And do terrible sexy things to each other when no one’s around. That too.
