Singlehood is spun as the period between boyfriends, a time of hunting for the next partner while moping in loneliness and wishing your Prince Charming would come and sweep you off your feet already. But rolling solo doesn’t have to be anything like that. In fact, there are plenty of reasons to ditch dating altogether and start wooing yourself instead.
You can focus on your own goals. Without a significant other to consider, your life is entirely driven by yourself and your goals. A job that requires a move across the country? Totally possible and even exciting if you’re dating yourself. A marathon that demands long training hours? Suddenly it doesn’t matter if you’re spending two hours every day out on a run or at the gym because that free time is all for you and your pursuits.
You can develop deep friendships. Often times new relationships move friendships to the sidelines, but not when you’re dating yourself. Instead of spending time on a boyfriend, spend time nurturing the friendships you already have. Instead of spending time trying to make new connections, investing in your existing friends can lead to a new closeness instead of a new relationship altogether.
You can connect with your own body. Dating yourself means taking the time to learn the ins and outs of your own body rather than learning someone else’s particulars. Whether this means adding in a yoga class to your schedule or buying a new vibrator, both are you taking care of that special someone: yourself! There’s nothing better than the freedom to focus solely on your own pleasure.
You can pick wherever you want to eat. Instead of the endless debate about where to eat every date night, you get to pick each and every night. Eat mac and cheese every night, try being vegan without being mocked, or order Chinese three nights in a row. It might seem a small thing, but dating yourself can mean indulging your dietary whims without anyone else’s input and that’s pretty great.
You don’t have to integrate anyone else into your schedule. Life is hectic between jobs, classes, and hobbies already and adding in another person to plan your life about makes that even crazier. Dating yourself opens your whole schedule up for your own life. Whenever I’m in a relationship, I end up melding into my boyfriend’s routine and schedule often going to bed earlier (even if it means skipping an evening bath) instead of just doing my own thing. Being on my own means that I stay up until I’m ready for bed, hit the gym in the mornings instead of sleeping in, and go to sleep earlier if I had a hard day. It’s just easier to mold a schedule for a single person when you’re flying solo.
You get the whole bed. It’s a small thing but an important one: being single means you get that whole bed to yourself. Use four pillows, sleep like a starfish, or whatever else makes your night sleep the most restful yet. There’s nothing like knowing you don’t have to deal with a partner hogging the covers, snoring loudly, or generally keeping you from your beauty rest.
You can indulge in the peacefulness of solitude. Solitude can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. Dating yourself can be a time to learn how to enjoy your own company. It can be a time to get back into reading during morning coffee instead of chatting or to add back in an old hobby that fell by the wayside when you were last coupled up. It might take more time to adjust than anything else, but learning how to enjoy your own company can lead to a happier life all around. For me, spending time with myself is how I re-center and recuperate for day-to-day life, and it feels great.
You can re-connect with family. Spending time with friends is one benefit of being single, but sometimes family gets dropped too when all of your free time is spent with a significant other and friends. Shifting that so your friends are your top pick for social time means that you still have some hours open for your family. Lately, I’ve spent numerous evenings with my parents and we’re closer than ever, but that’d never have happened if I didn’t have some time to dedicate to them.
You can go out without being tied down. It’s not like having a partner precludes you from having a good time (and if it does, you’re in the wrong relationship), but sometimes being single is just more fun! You don’t have to worry about inviting anyone, doing activities your significant other will like, and you can find someone new while you’re out on the town.
You can take time to take care of yourself. Self-care falls to the wayside all too much, especially if you’re dating someone new and your free time is spent kindling a new connection. Dating yourself means instead you can take care of yourself. What more could you ask for?
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