I Knew It Was Time To End Things When My Partner Of 8 Years Told Me I Make Him Happy

Most people would be pleased to hear that they make their partner happy, but I knew that it meant it was time to go. Here’s why I chose to walk away after my long-term boyfriend said this to me.

  1. It made me wonder if he was making me happy. The answer was complicated. Yes, he made me happy sometimes, but other times I felt pretty apathetic about him and our relationship as a whole. We had fun together but the relationship was starting to feel stagnant and I couldn’t definitively say that he consistently made me happy anymore.
  2. I wanted more than just happiness. So I made him happy, but what else? Did I make him feel excited? Nervous? Sexy? Did I make him feel like he was on top of the world? Was happiness all I would ever be able to inspire in him? Happiness is good, but without passion, there’s no real forward movement. I was glad that I made him happy but frustrated that I couldn’t make him feel anything else. That’s how I knew it was over.
  3. I realized that happiness is only temporary. It’s a fleeting emotion. I made him happy in the moment, but how long could it continue? I wanted to make him feel something that was more long-lasting. After all, he could get the same thing from watching a funny movie or eating a good burger. We couldn’t float on happiness alone.
  4. Happiness comes from within. I know I’m being a bit nitpicky here, but the truth is, you can’t rely on anyone for your happiness—it has to come from you alone. Yes, your partner can and should add to your happiness, but they shouldn’t be the major source of it. I’m not saying I was my boyfriend’s only source of happiness, but it was still a red flag.
  5. He viewed happiness as the highest relationship achievement and stopped trying.
    Admittedly, neither of us tried hard enough to keep things moving and growing and thriving. After so long together, we started to slack on our duties as partners. We stopped when we reached “happy”; there was no passion or romance. He didn’t try to surprise me anymore and wasn’t interested in flirting or making romantic gestures. It kinda sucked.
  6. Even after voicing my concerns, he refused to meet me halfway. When I realized I wanted more than basic happiness, I did try to bring the spark back, but he wasn’t meeting me halfway. Happiness was enough for him but I was still striving for more. It just wasn’t working anymore.
  7. I started to realize I deserve so much more. I know my worth, and thinking I deserve more in a relationship isn’t a bad thing. The relationship had dragged on for so long and there was no room to grow or change for either of us. Not only did I deserve more than just happiness, but so did my partner. Leaving that relationship was probably the best thing for myself and for him.
  8. I wanted to give both of us a chance to find someone who makes us feel more. Yeah, the end of a relationship sucks even when you’re the one leaving. Still, I knew he deserved a shot at finding someone who made him feel more than just basic happiness, and so do I! There’s no shame in admitting we weren’t right for each other anymore.
  9. I didn’t need a relationship to find happiness. In fact, I didn’t need one to find passion, joy, or excitement either. I didn’t know that until after the relationship was over and that’s one of the reasons that I don’t regret ending it. After almost a decade, the relationship felt like all I had known, but there was a whole world outside of it just waiting for me to explore. I didn’t need someone else to feel those things and I would never have learned that if I hadn’t left.
Always give your 100%… unless you're donating blood. Then don't.