It’s Time To Start Living How Your 80-Year-Old Self Wants To Remember You

Life is short, and I want to make amazing memories of badass adventures and outrageous behavior while I can to keep me company when I’m old. Your 80-year-old self deserves better than a lifetime of frustrating regrets, so make sure you do yourself proud.

  1. Date the bad boy. He’s horribly unsuitable. He’s danger wrapped in gift wrap, but he’s also sexy as hell (and he probably knows it too)! Sometimes life puts a beautiful bastard in your path to tempt you with his gorgeous biceps and demonic charm. Don’t fall in love or try to have a relationship with this guy, but you should definitely date him for a while! A passionate fling based on pure passion is a wonderful thing that every woman and her vagina should experience at least once in this lifetime.
  2. Take the crazy trip. Perhaps the timing isn’t great or logically, you know that you should be saving your money. Still, some opportunities are once in a lifetime, so when they roll around, your answer should be yes! Get your butt on a plane and go explore some exotic place. See some marvels with your own eyes, hang out with some total strangers, and dive naked into a foreign ocean. These unforgettable experiences are amazing for your psyche and priceless future memories.
  3. Pull the spontaneous all-nighter. These magical nights of insanity can’t be re-created—you have to just go along for the ride. Every now and then you should put caution aside and just worship the party gods. Down some shots, dance on a table, follow the fun across town and discover some weird but cool places. Kiss a stranger on a dance floor and wake up on a lounger next to some random person’s pool! The crazy story you leave with will be worth the hungover walk of shame.
  4. Walk out of that terrible job. Life is about so much more than paying bills. When you’re building your career, there’ll be some employers that will exploit your disadvantaged position by overworking you, mildly sexually harassing you, or pressuring you into morally suspect behavior. You may be stuck between a rock and a hard place, but telling your boss to stick their job where the sun doesn’t shine will do wonders for your self-worth. You’re a talented, strong woman—you’ll survive this minor setback.
  5. Smash some glass ceilings. Be the first woman. Whether it’s the first woman in your family to travel to Norway, the first woman from your school class to get a PhD, or the first woman in your company to be promoted to director, you can do it! Large or small, all progress is important, and there are no glass ceilings too high to be smashed. Find something you care about and be proactive about changing this world for the better. One day your actions could inspire your grandkids.
  6. Stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, there’ll always be douchebags in your life that will try to take advantage of your good nature. Fortunately, you only have to lose your temper once for your own badassery to become notorious, so let it rip! Plus, the occasional epic tantrum is good for your soul because it releases built up spite and resentment so you can return to a healthy state of zen.
  7. Gain an unexpected skill. Secret talents make for multifaceted, enigmatic people. What’s that skill you always wanted to learn but never got around to? There’s no better time than now! Whether it’s aerial trapeze, pottery, or card magic, you do you. Take a class, practice hard, and enjoy yourself. Learning new skills keeps your brain sharp and your self-belief healthy, plus surprising people with your unexpected mastery of something totally random is fantastic fun!
  8. Explore your sexuality. Everyone has a kink—that wild and naughty curiosity that gets you going. Repressing this side of your personality will only leave you miserable and unsatisfied. As long as you play safe and no one’s getting hurt (against their will anyway wink!), there’s nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality. Try a threesome, some BDSM, or exhibitionism. Whatever your fantasies are, make them a reality and enjoy the erotic side of life. This is an exciting way to really get to know yourself and brilliant for your self-esteem.
  9. Own it. You’re an amazing, unique individual and there’ll only ever be one of you. Practice self-care, love your body, your mind, and express this to the world in whatever way feels right. Wear what you want, let your voice be heard, and never let other people dull your shine. When you’re unequivocally yourself, the relationships you grow will be more authentic and rewarding. Living with self-doubt and low self-worth is a waste of living. Be your best self and screw the haters!
  10. Chase your dreams. Wasted potential is disappointing, frustrating, and the path towards bitterness and regret. Your dreams are your soul telling you how to live your best life, so don’t deny them for the safer path. Chasing your dreams is brave and inspiring, and even if you ultimately fail, you’ll be happier proactively seeking your ideal future than stuck in a mediocre existence wondering what if.
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