Why It’s Time To Stop Setting Up All Your Single Friends

You’re the perfect example of the fairy tale relationship. Why not make sure all your friends get a happy ending, too? I’m not sure what makes couples think they need to play matchmaker. Do they realize how many Mr. Wrongs you went through to find Mr. Right? I don’t care how in love you are – it’s time to stop setting up your single friends. If they ask for help, by all means go ahead and let your inner matchmaker out to play. Otherwise, butt out and let them handle their own love life.

  1. Blind dates ruin friendships. You describe Channing Tatum, but he’s more like Donald Trump minus the fat wallet. Do you really think she’s going to grateful that you set her up and wasted yet another Saturday night for her? No. Keep it up and she’s just going to think you hate her. After all, why else would you keep putting her through this?
  2. You don’t know what they want. I know you think you know everything about your friends. You don’t. You don’t know what they’re really looking for in a date. Usually, you’re either setting your friends up with the first available single person you find or you’re looking for guys you would like.
  3. You’re not a love expert. Do you even know what love is? Sure, you’re in a relationship, but how long will it last? Even if you are in love, that doesn’t make you an expert. Love’s different for everyone. Take a look at your license – does it say “Cupid”? I didn’t think so.
  4. They might like their single status. Did you ever stop to think that maybe your single friends like being single? They get tired of trying to politely tell you they don’t want to go out with anyone. Give them a break. At the very least, ask if they’re interested in dating right now.
  5. You don’t know why they’re single right now. As much as you talk to them, you might not know the real reason why they’re single. Maybe they’re still hung up on an ex or they’re planning a big move and don’t want to get attached to anyone right now.
  6. It’s just plain awkward for everyone. Once in a while, it works out. I’ll admit that. The majority of the time, all those setups just turn out bad. It’s even worse if you’re setting up your friends with your man’s friends. Now when everyone gets together, it’s this awkward silence. It’s really hard to hang out with a bunch of failed first dates.
  7. No one wants to be set up with strangers. That hot guy in the grocery store looks perfect for your friend. Do you even know what kind of psychopath he might be? Yes, those few seconds you talked to him were great. Now you want to set your friend up on a date with this guy? Trust me, no one wants to be set up with a complete stranger.
  8. You’re not their mother. Mothers pestering their kids to find the right person is annoying. The more you play matchmaker, the more you’re acting like their mother. Think about that. Do you really want to be their mother? They want a friend, not another nagging parent.
  9. Two singles doesn’t mean love at first sight. Single women go through quite a few frustrating types of setups. It’s the rare one that actually leads to anything. Just because you set up your friend with a single man doesn’t mean it’s going to be love at first site. Odds are, they’ll probably never want to see each other again.
  10. Your single friends hate you. Have you noticed your single friends avoiding your texts and calls? When you do try to make plans with them, they’re always busy? It’s not them, it’s you. They’re tired of being set up. They’re avoiding you because they hate what you’re doing to them. Stop it or lose your friends.
  11. Focus on your own relationship. What’s happening to your own relationship while you’re busy messing around with your friends’ lives? Is your relationship so horrible that you have to live vicariously through everyone else? Try working on your relationship and let your friends find love in their own time.

I’ve yet to meet a couple, myself included, that hasn’t tried to set up at least one single friend. Here’s a new rule to follow – only set up your friends if they ask. Otherwise, just let them enjoy being single.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.