When my fiance asked me to marry him, it wasn’t exactly your classic fairytale proposal. He didn’t have a ring (yet) and he didn’t get down on one knee but I still said yes. It was random but it fit perfectly with how we met: we both swiped right on Tinder. I’m living proof that dating apps aren’t full of creeps and jerks (though I encountered my fair share of those guys too). Here’s why I’m a strong believer in giving online dating a chance.
- You’ll increase the size of your dating pool. My fiance and I are eight years apart, we’re from different towns, and we have very different hobbies. He’s a die-hard snowboarder who grew up taking family trips to the mountains in a Westfalia. I prefer yoga and the gym to outdoor sports and I grew up traveling to Europe and Australia. If it weren’t for Tinder, we probably never would have met.
- You’ll find out what you do (and don’t) like by dating vastly different types of guys. Anyone who’s spent five minutes on a dating app has probably had a less than inspiring experience. I used to get tons of gross messages and went on cringe-worthy dates before I found a guy who was worth my time. Whether you’re just chatting through the app or you actually meet in person, dating apps can help you clarify what you do—and more importantly, don’t—want from a potential partner.
- The more dates you go on, the easier it’ll become. I’m the first to admit that dating can be grueling. I’m an introvert so going on dates with people I’ve never met is a sweat-inducing, nerve-wracking experience, but I promise you that even if the date goes horribly south, it’ll serve you in the long run. Dating is like going on job interviews: the more of them you do, the more confident you’ll become.
- It’s way easier to meet someone than real-life methods. People are busier than ever than ever these days. Between work and family and a personal life, it can be tough to meet someone special. When I was dating, I was working in a female-dominated industry and it seemed impossible to meet an eligible guy. Jumping on Tinder was an easy way to connect with new people in the area and it totally paid off.
- You’re in control of your dating life. One of the best things about dating apps is that you’re completely in control, especially with female-driven apps like Bumble where the woman gets to decide who she talks to and when. There are no creepy dudes approaching you at the bar (or park, or grocery store, or…) and if you don’t want to talk or meet someone, it’s entirely up to you.
- You can choose how serious (or casual) you want things to be. When I decided to download Tinder, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I’d finally gotten over a bad breakup and just wanted to have fun and meet new people. I dated a few guys and was 100% upfront about my desire to keep things casual. That is until I met the man who’ll soon be my husband. Like me, he wasn’t looking for a relationship but we both knew there was something between us we couldn’t ignore. It caught us both completely off guard but we decided together to see where things would go.
- You might make a few friends in the process. Despite popular belief, not all Tinder dates are catastrophic. In fact, I had more fun dates than awful ones. That’s not to say I was compatible with every guy I met but most of them were genuinely good people and I’m still friends with a couple of them today.
- You’ll get to try new things you might not have attempted otherwise. On one date, a guy took me off-roading on his ATV. Another took me on a bike ride brewery tour around the city. Another guy surprised me by taking me go-karting for the first time since I was kid. Even if the relationship didn’t work out (except for that last one), I was impressed by the creativity they put into the dates. When you put yourself out there, you open yourself up to all kinds of experiences.
- It’s easy to tell which guys actually care. One of the biggest problems with dating apps is that people hide behind their phones, but who you get via text is very rarely the same person you get in the flesh. If you want to know if there’s really something there, it’s best to meet sooner rather than later. If a guy is slow to make plans or flakes out on a date, it’s clear he’s not interested.
- Online dating has gone mainstream so there’s no shame in it. I used to be embarrassed to tell people I met my S.O. on Tinder. It seemed to unromantic and it wasn’t the story I imagined telling my kids one day but then I realized it doesn’t matter how we met, just that we met at all. That one fleeting decision to swipe right changed our lives forever, for the better.
