Opinion: Tinder Sucks For Finding True Love

Finding love isn’t easy, and the proliferation of using apps to find love hasn’t helped. Tinder is well known for being a hook-up app first and foremost, and it’s unlikely you’ll find anything more. Sure, anything’s possible, but you might want to think twice before putting all your hope for finding true love on the shoulders of Tinder.

  1. You’re the rule, not the exception. To borrow from He’s Just Not That Into You, yes, some people can break all the rules and find love on a hook up app, but chances are, that’s not going to happen to you. There’s always going to be that one person in the room that says, “But my cousin’s friend met her fiancé on Tinder!” Good for your cousin’s friend. Still not likely to happen to you.
  2. Most people are using it for an ego boost. We all wonder every once in awhile how hot we are, and what better way to find out than to hop on Tinder and see how many people swipe right on our best selfie?
  3. Guys assume if you’re on there, you’re comfortable with casual sex. So you can’t really blame them for trying to have sex with you, now can you? Pretending you didn’t know Tinder was a hook up app isn’t going to work either, unless you live in a cave and yet somehow have a decent data plan.
  4. Some of the guys on there aren’t even single. According to one study, up to 42% of the users on Tinder aren’t as single as you think they are. That means even if you manage to have a decent conversation with someone, the chances of you actually meeting up, hitting it off, and riding off into the sunset aren’t really that high.
  5. Not many people are taking it seriously. Meaning guys aren’t exactly on their best behavior when they’re striking up a conversation on Tinder. They’re probably trying out their best bad pick up line, or using their matches as a drinking game. What they aren’t doing is trying to impress you.
  6. Tinder dates are notoriously flaky. Getting stood up by a Tinder date is pretty much a rite of passage into adult relationships these days. And I’m not even sure if that’s better or worse than when they unmatch you just as you’re nailing down the details of where to meet.
  7. A lot of people use it when they’re in town on business. Does a guy seem really eager to meet in the next couple days at the bar of your choosing in the downtown core? He’s here on business and he’s looking for something (or someone) to do in the evenings rather than sit alone in his hotel room. Probably not your one and only.
  8. True love takes time. People like to romanticize the idea of “love at first sight”, but realistically, the most you could ever hope to find on an app that requires you to judge people solely on looks is lust at first sight. No matter what anyone says, that’s not love.
  9. People on Tinder aren’t looking for love. Timing is a huge factor in a successful relationship. Both people have to be ready for something serious if it has any hope of working, and if a guy is on Tinder he’s probably more interested in something casual right now. Maybe he just broke up with someone. Maybe he’s too busy at work. Whatever the reason, he just wants an occasional hook up, and he’s unlikely to be looking at you as girlfriend material, no matter how great you are.
  10. There are way too many options. Every time you swipe no to one face, there’s another one right there to replace it. It’s pretty hard to settle down with one person when you’re always wondering if the next face will be even better than the last. When you’re in Tinder mode, it’s more about quantity than quality.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo