It really feels like the only way to meet someone these days is through some sort of dating app. I mean, how else are you going to find a guy when no one actually leaves their couch anymore? So, I installed Tinder… and deleted it within a week. It was THE WORST.
Everyone seemed to be playing a game. Swipe right, swipe left, go go go. It became such a rush of adrenaline that it was easy to forget that there are actual people attached to these profiles rather than it just being a game of who’s the most attractive. If that’s the way you’re supposed to find love, I’m screwed.
Actually messaging people was so painfully awkward. When I did match with people and they messaged me, I had no idea what to do with myself. Suddenly, I didn’t know how to carry out a normal conversation (emphasis on the word normal) and apparently all these guys didn’t know how to do that either.
It’s clearly just for hookups. Why do men think it’s okay to message something like, “So are we gonna have sex or nah?” within two messages? Can you imagine this happening in a face to face interaction? I’m thinking not. Most of the interactions revolve around sex. That’s not always a bad thing but not exactly what I’m personally going for at this moment in time.
Creeps are always around. Because it’s just for hookups, the first Tinder message (at least in my experience) was ALWAYS dudes asking for nudes. When I said no, the messages became a flood of insults and threats ranging from, “Bitch, you aren’t even hot anyway!” (which begs the question why he swiped right on me in the first place) to, “If I saw you on the street, it would be a different story.” What’s wrong with these guys?
Personality switches in an instant. Our generation is used to instant gratification, so a lot of these guys would get mad when they didn’t receive it. If I was away from my phone for a while working or sleeping, dudes would go from telling me I was beautiful to calling me a bitch and accusing me of ignoring them. If a guy can flip a switch on his personality before we’ve even met, I’d be terrified to actually be around him in person.
People only are on Tinder for the ego boost. Tinder functions as an answer to one question and one question only: do you find this person hot? When you do get a match, you know someone else finds you attractive. That’s enough of a reason to have a slightly inflated ego when using the app. However, after a match is made, the adrenaline rush disappears and you’re on to the next. That’s a great system for a “dating” app, don’t you think?
Who people say they are online is a lie. Of course, you want to present the most flattering pictures of yourself possible on the site. It’d be stupid to not do so, but when people post pictures taken five years ago or they start retouching current pics to the point that they’re almost unrecognizable, that’s not an accurate representation of who they are now, as much as you wish it was. People also lie about where they went to school or what they do for a living. I really don’t get it.
Some people will say ANYTHING to keep the conversation going. Starting a conversation with a stranger, especially in this context, is awkward to begin with. But if you actually get past all the trash (those that just want pictures they can find somewhere on the internet) and you find someone that wants to get to know you, it can be a struggle getting there. Sometimes the chemistry just doesn’t work, at that point, it’s better to just move on than try and force it. No offense, but I’d rather watch paint dry than talk about water laws in my city. Yes, that actually happened.
It’s some kind of weird emotional roller coaster. Yay, I got a match! Boo, he’s a creep! Alright, that was uncalled for and rude, moving on! Yay, I got a match! It’s just an endless cycle of excitement and hope, quickly followed by disgust and disappointment that just continues in a loop. It’s exhausting going through that many emotions in a short span of time, especially when you aren’t PMSing.
It’s ultimately a total waste of time. The conversations were the same thing over and over. If you don’t want to just hook up then you won’t find whatever it is you’re looking for on Tinder. You’re simply wasting your time digging through the crap to find that one gem. Yes, there will always be those stories where so and so met on Tinder and they’ve been married for years now and blah blah blah. What people forget is that these are the exceptions to the rule, not the norm. Sorry not sorry.
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The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…