You’re probably sick of all the new dating trends out there, but this one’s worth knowing because it’s creepy AF: Tindstagramming. Sounds fun and carefree but in reality, it’s terrifying. Here’s what you need to know about it.
Tinda what? Tindstagramming is when you don’t match with someone on Tinder, then you see them on your Instagram because they’ve just sent you a DM. Wait, what? The internet is a small, creepy place. Since 2015, it’s been really easy to link your Tinder and Instagram accounts together, which leaves your Instagram username visible for all to see on your dating profile.
Hello, rejects! Some loser will see your Instagram username on Tinder, then find you on the site and drop you a message. Um, hello? You didn’t match on Tinder. Why the heck would he be sending you a message on Instagram?
It’s not romantic. Some people might think it’s romantic—the guy must really like the woman he Tindstagrams. Really? It would’ve been romantic if you were actually interested in each other on Tinder. The fact that he can’t take a rejection like a man is troubling. He’s a stalker.
It’s not the first time this has happened. If you think about it, there have been other examples of this kind of trend before Tindstagramming. For instance, when a guy chats to you on a dating profile or LinkedIn, gets your full name, and then hunts you down on Facebook. How is that a better alternative? It’s not!
It makes for some awkward AF conversations. Just think: the guy DMs you on Instagram and acts cool, not mentioning that he got rejected on Tinder. Or, he tells you that you didn’t swipe on him and he wanted to try to get to know you off the dating site. Whoa, talk about weird.
In my opinion, ghosting is okay in this situation. Look, if the guy’s being shady or persistent, you don’t have to answer his messages. You rejected him for a reason and he should know that he can’t expect you to engage with him just because he wants you to. Hell no.
It’s not a second chance. Let’s look at the situation from the other side. Let’s say you accidentally rejected someone on Tinder and then he got in touch with you on Instagram. Is this a second shot at love? Probably not. You’ll probably wonder why he’d resort to doing such a desperate thing and how many other women he’s Tinstagrammed.
Guys need to stop this behavior. You want a man who works hard to show you how much he likes you, but this behavior is taking things too far! It’s not charming or flattering—it’s downright dodgy. The only time you want a guy to put in an effort to make you his is when you have feelings for him. It has to be mutual, otherwise, it’s inappropriate.
You don’t even know the guy. Why do people think that just because they’ve seen someone on a dating app or social networking site it means that they know each other and so this sort of thing is acceptable? The guy who’s tracking you down is a stranger yet he’s acting like your next boyfriend. SMH. Out of line, dude.
Imagine this in real life. If Tindstagramming was something people did in real life, it would go something like this: a guy approaches you at a bar and offers to buy you a drink. You tell him you’re not interested. He backs away, only to show up later at your car. WTF?
No means no! People are freaked out by this trend, and rightly so. It’s about some guys not giving a crap that no means no. “No” isn’t an invitation for them to try harder! What’s so hard to understand? Tindstagramming is about having no respect for a woman’s boundaries.
It’s not okay just because it’s convenient. A guy might say that it’s no big deal to Tindstagram you because your Instagram username was right there—he didn’t even have to look it up on the internet. Or, he might say that it’s just a casual thing for him to strike up conversation with you on Instagram. Nah-uh. It’s really the intention behind his behavior that makes this trend so nasty and how he’s not thinking about your feelings at all.
Some guys try the friendship route but it’s still shady. It doesn’t matter if the guy isn’t hitting on you. He might try to be super chilled and ask you how your luck’s been on Tinder. OMG. Seriously? So now you’re having a friendly chat over a cup of tea? Hell no. Tindstagramming is a really strange way to become friends with someone, especially because you never gave them a friendship invitation. GTFO, man!
It’s really not a successful way to meet people. One guy who likes to Tindstagram in his spare time told NYMag.com that he uses it as a way to get dates. He’d jot down people’s Instagram usernames on Tinder before swiping on them so that he could later find them on the social networking site and make his move if they rejected him. Geez. As for his success rate? Two to three times out of 30, his plan would work, which just goes to show: this trend needs to die.
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