You probably never dreamed that you’d move back in with your parents, but sometimes life throws you a curveball. Maybe you have to make the move due to financial reasons or because your relationship ended and you’re going through a tough time. Whatever the reason for the move and however temporary it is, here are some tips for making the situation a bit less awkward and painful.
1. Set clear expectations around the move.
Sit down with your parents and talk about your expectations. Do they want you to help around the house with chores? Are you giving them rent money and paying half of the bills? How long can you stay? All of these questions need answering so that everyone feels comfortable moving forward. Open communication will help you to avoid misunderstandings.
2. Set up a budget.
Money is a common reason for a lot of arguments when adult children are living with their parents, which you want to avoid. So, set a budget to help you manage your financial contributions to your parents during your stay and to ensure you can still put a bit away so that you can eventually move out into your own place again in the near future.
3. Do some chores around the house.
You can’t expect to coast during your time back in the nest. It’s only fair that you contribute to doing chores so you show your parents that you’re not trying to take advantage of them. It might be a good idea to set up a chore schedule so you make sure you’re contributing equally. Also, don’t make extra mess by leaving your dirty laundry or dishes around. If you make a mess, clean it up.
4. Keep your independence.
Just because you’re living at home, it doesn’t mean your independence should fly out the window. Your personal goals and career aspirations shouldn’t lose importance, nor should your friendships and dating life. Your parents should be on board with you maintaining as much of your life as possible, especially since living with your parents isn’t a long-term goal.
5. Respect each other’s space.
Both you and your parents need to have personal space and privacy. Just because you’re living in your childhood home, it doesn’t mean they can enter your room without first knocking on the door. Similarly, you don’t get to barge in on your parents’ date night of Netflix on the couch. Make sure your routines and theirs are respected.
6. Stay connected.
Spend quality time with your parents on a regular basis. It’s easy for family members to focus on their own lives, but you’re sharing a roof, so you should work on your relationships. It’ll make for a happier time together and really enrich your relationship in ways that won’t necessarily be possible when you’re living separately again.
7. Show your gratitude.
Your parents have been kind enough to let you move back in with them, so make sure you show them some love and gratitude. This could take the form of taking them out to a fancy dinner or telling them how much they mean to you. Sure, they’re your mom and dad, but you’re a grown adult and having you back under their roof is a big change for them too.
8. Focus on upgrading your skills.
Whatever has caused you to land back at home should inspire you to improve yourself. Work on your finances so you can have enough money to buy your own house. Or, if you’ve lost your job, consider taking an online course to boost your skills. Whatever you can do to up your chances of not having to come back again in the future is a good step to take.
9. Establish some healthy boundaries.
We mentioned the importance of respecting each other’s privacy, but you should also communicate your boundaries and let them do the same. For example, if you have friends visiting you, you might want to chat with your parents to ensure you have some freedom under their roof. Or, perhaps you want to mention how important your alone time after work is for your well-being. They’ll probably have some boundaries of their own, so make sure you hear them out.
10. Find ways to stay positive.
Living with your family again can be stressful and a bit demoralizing, so you have to try to work on your positive attitude. You can do this by focusing on the benefits of being with your family — spending more quality time together and getting to know them in a whole new way are pretty big perks — and nurturing your life outside of the house.
11. Update your old bedroom.
If your bedroom still looks like a snapshot of the ’90s, you’ll want to change things up a bit so you feel it’s more fitting for an adult. This could be as simple as decluttering your room and bringing in some of your furniture to make it feel more like home. Or, maybe slap on a new coating of paint. In other words, make it a place you don’t hate being.
12. Don’t ignore issues when they arise.
When problems crop up, speak to your parents about them immediately so they don’t strain your relationship. For example, Â if you feel frustrated because your parents still talk to you like you’re a child, you should calmly express how this makes you feel and why it’s inappropriate. This shows them that you’re a mature adult who deserves respect and consideration, not a kid who needs to be micromanaged.
13. Don’t forget your friends.
It’s crucial to maintain a social life so you don’t feel claustrophobic in your parents’ house. It’s also good to have support outside of the family. If you’re living far away from your current friends, consider reaching out to old school friends in your city. These relationships will help keep you inspired and upbeat as you work on getting back out there on your own again.
14. Don’t expect your parents to wait on you hand and foot.
Sometimes parents can overstep boundaries because they’re so happy to have you back at home, or because they feel they have to fulfill their former roles. As a result, your mom might do your washing, ironing, or cooking. Nip this in the bud! She’s not going to be there serving you dinner and making you an afternoon snack when you’ve got your own place, so don’t rely on that now. Look after yourself!
15. Talk to each other like mature adults.
If your parents speak to you as though you’re a rebellious teenager or in a way that feels like they’re controlling you, avoid falling into the trap of speaking to them like you’re a kid. For healthy communication, use “I feel” statements to explain where you’re at without losing your cool.
16. Don’t be ashamed of living with your parents again.
It’s easy to feel embarrassed that you’ve had to move back home, but remind yourself that this isn’t a forever thing. It’s just a pause in your journey, a time when you can fine-tune your future goals. Since it’s not going to last forever, try to make the most of it and focus on the positives. You’ll have your own place again in no time.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
