If You’re Tired Of Feeling Like Dating Is A Waste Of Time, Here’s What You Need To Do

From getting ghosted to dates that never even happen, it’s safe to say that you end up disappointed on an almost daily basis when you’re single and dating. Because of this, it’s tempting to feel like dating is a total waste of time, but don’t give up. Do these things instead and you might be surprised at how much easier it gets:

  1. Stick to your guns. If you get a bad vibe from someone even if you’re just chatting via a dating app, guess what? You can listen to yourself. If you hate someone on the first date but say yes when they ask you out again, that’s not the best idea. Don’t change your mind because you ultimately know what’s right for you — and you definitely know how you feel the first time around.
  2. Get smart about BS excuses. Using apps is like learning how many possible reasons there are not to date. You’re talking to some guys and they seem decent enough, but when the idea of actually meeting IRL comes up, they’re too busy with work. They’re going on vacation. They have zero free nights next week (really?!). Save yourself the irritation and cut these people loose at the first sign of these BS excuses.
  3. Forget about feeling obligated. You don’t owe anyone anything, even if you’ve gone on a few dates. You should never feel obligated to keep going out with someone because they’re nice enough or there aren’t any glaring red flags. And you should never feel obligated to go on a first date just because you made the plan. You can cancel if you’re not interested or you’re feeling weird about it. That really is okay.
  4. Cut down on your dates. On the one hand, you have the theory that dating is a numbers game so you should go on as many first dates as possible. Better odds, right? On the other hand, if you go on more first dates, that means you’re possibly going on more crappy dates. Not so fun. Make sure you’re going on enough dates to meet someone, but don’t drive yourself crazy. You want to be sure you’re definitely interested in spending an hour or two with someone.
  5. Zero in on what matters. You’re not picky if you have certain things that you look for in a partner, and no, you’re not terrified of finding love or whatever else people tell you. If you act like you have no clue what you want or who you’re searching for, you’re just going to waste your own time on every single date. When you know your turn-offs, you can leave a date early and never look back.
  6. Know that if it’s right, you won’t have to force things. Dating isn’t like anything else in life. You can’t decide you’ll go on a second date with every guy in the next month because you have no idea if that will even happen. You might not like them, they might not be into you, neither of you can be into it. You’ll be much better off if you try your best to get out there, but don’t stress over how many dates you had this month or anything like that.
  7. Stop stressing. Seriously, just stop. Waiting for that guy you like to text you back? Put your phone in a drawer and go do something productive. Wondering if things are going to work out? You already know that in the past, freaking out never solved anything. Stay calm and let things work out the way they’re supposed to.
  8. Do what feels right. If you want to take a week or two off of dating, no one is going to stop you. Don’t feel guilty or like you should be trying harder. If you do what feels right, you’re going to be a million times happier. It’s your life, after all.
  9. Trust yourself. Call it believing in yourself, call it having confidence, call it self-worth. Whatever you want to call it, having some trust in your thoughts, feelings and decisions is going to make a huge difference. You won’t believe how much time you save by not worrying.
  10. Take things at face value. If you get the feeling that the person you’re dating just wants to hook up and you want something real, then believe them and walk away. You need to accept things for what they are instead of wishing and hoping that they’ll change and become what you want. That’s just not going to happen.
  11. Be grateful for your life. Sure, you want to find love and there’s nothing wrong with keeping that dream alive. That doesn’t mean you can’t love your life in the meantime. Be grateful for what you have and forget what you don’t. That’s the true secret to surviving all the craziness.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.