You’ve probably heard that if you want to find real love, you’re going to have to wait a while. You might want to scream and pull out your hair when someone tells you this, but this is why you have to be patient when you’re looking for love no matter how much it sucks:
- It takes a long time. Even when you have a first date on your calendar, you might have to wait a few days or even a week before meeting the person. And even if you hit it off, you might not hear from him for a few days before you set up a second date, and that might not happen until a week later. Then it’s going to take a while before you two are comfortable together and can even think about discussing “what you are.” And that’s only if things work out well. If you keep going on crappy first dates, then finding love is obviously going to take a whole lot longer.
- You can’t control everything. Sure, you can pick the location for the first date, and you can set boundaries to protect yourself. But the pacing of your love life is something that’s a bit harder to control. Whether it’s seeing if the new guy in your life feels the same way you do, or setting up a date with someone that you’re interested in meeting IRL, you’re going to have to do some waiting whether you like it or not.
- You’re going to have setbacks. Just because you’ve finally met a guy that you like doesn’t mean that you’re going to end up together. You might not even get past the first month. While this definitely sucks, you have to realize that dating is full of setbacks, and worrying about time frames isn’t going to help you.
- Life isn’t fair. And if life isn’t fair, then finding love definitely isn’t, either. You’re going to wonder why you’re still single when all the worst people that you know are happy and in love. You’re going to hate that it takes you ten tries to finally go on a halfway decent date when your BFF is still with the first guy that ever messaged her on Tinder. You need a ton of patience to get through both life and love. Just stay calm and know that your turn is coming.
- You need to trust that what’s meant to be will happen. When you can trust that the universe will bring you your person when it’s time, your single life will be a lot less miserable. And you need patience in order to believe this. It’s like giving a friend a second chance after she hurts you: You don’t know how long it’s going to take to believe in her again, but you’re willing to wait and see.
- Not everything can be planned. Dates get canceled or rescheduled. Life happens and gets in the way. Guys who seem amazing turn into jerks before your very eyes. You can’t plan anything when it comes to your love life, and that means being willing to keep going even when things don’t go exactly as you hoped.
- Giving up won’t help you. It’s easy to be tempted to give up on the search, but it’s not an option when you realize that being patient is totally the key to your eventual happiness. Why make yourself miserable by believing that your chance at love is over and there’s no reason to keep trying? When you have faith that being patient will pay off, it’s easier to keep going.
- You don’t have a crystal ball. Or a Magic 8 ball. Or anything else that would let you see into your future. Since you have no clue what’s about to happen and when, you might as well ignore the concept of time completely and just keep living your life.
- You’ve been surprised before. Chances are there’s at least one aspect of your current life that was a total shock to you. Maybe it’s your job, or where you decided to live, or even the people that you surround yourself with. You’ve seen the unexpected happen, so why wouldn’t your love life surprise you, too? When you stay open-minded and ready for anything, that’s when you’ll find what you’re looking for.
- You have to see the fun in being patient. Okay, so waiting for pretty much anything is the worst, from standing in long lines at the supermarket to sitting in the designated room at the doctor’s office. But think about it like this: if you knew what would happen to you every single day of your life, you would lose all motivation. You would be bored out of your mind and wonder what the point was. If you can think of waiting for the unexpected as a mysterious adventure, who knows how much better your life could be? With a positive attitude, you’re bound to find love, even if it takes a while.