To The Guy Who Was Dumb Enough To Let Me Go

If I had any interest in seeing you again, I might say all this in person. Honestly, I think you’re an idiot. You had a wonderful girlfriend who doted on you, supported you, and defended you when all my friends said to dump you. Guess I really should’ve listened. Without warning, you made one of the biggest mistakes of your life — you were actually dumb enough to dump me.

I hope she’s worth it. 

Whoever you left me for, I hope she’s worth it. My guess is she’s either just like you or you’ll end up screwing up another good relationship. She must have seemed pretty amazing at the time, though.

Why did you waste my time? 

You saw how much work I was putting in, yet you just kept leading me on. Why? I was clear about what I wanted and if you didn’t want the same things, you should’ve grown a pair and said so.

What did I do wrong? 

Was it something I did that suddenly dropped your IQ to the point that you thought dumping me was a good idea? No, I doubt it. I’m guessing you were just too scared of being happy that you had to run away.

I guess I was the only one trying. 

I thought it was all in my mind or that I was expecting too much. You might be an idiot, but you did teach me that it’s not worth putting any time into a relationship if the person you’re with isn’t meeting you halfway. Thanks. I won’t make that mistake again.

I’m not waiting around for you. 

I’ve deleted all the texts and voicemails you keep leaving me. You were dumb enough to dump me, but you expected me to wait around. I’m done. I’m not waiting around for someone who’s not smart enough to know how lucky they really were.

Now I’m free to date someone sexier. 

I remember how hot you thought you were. Honestly, you spent more time getting ready than I did. What were you doing in the bathroom for so long? Well, I hate to break it to you, but you were only about a 6, so thanks for freeing me up to find someone much hotter than you.

Do you even know what you’re missing? 

After what you did, I have to wonder if you even realize what you’re missing. I treated you like a freaking prince, yet all I got in return was a breakup? I know it’ll hit you one day, but I’ll have long moved on to someone who deserves me by then.

An honest explanation would’ve been nice. 

Yes, I heard your BS excuses, but how about a real reason? You placed all the blame on me, but I actually had my life together. You were the one not responding when I called and forbidding me to have male friends. Guess what? I didn’t screw things up, you did.

Don’t even bother coming back. 

I’ve never been in the habit of giving exes second chances. With you, I regret even giving you the first chance. No, we can’t be friends. I’d prefer to not have that much stupidity in my life.

No, I don’t miss you at all. 

I realize your ego is as big as you thought your tiny penis was, but I don’t miss you. I was honestly more pissed and confused than anything. Now that you’re gone, I can’t believe how much happier I am.

Do you always let the good ones go? 

Is this something you always do? I can’t imagine I’m the only great woman you’ve tricked into believing you were something you aren’t. Just as an FYI, the good ones talk and you’re not going to find many more of us.

I wish you the best, or some BS like that. 

Honestly, I don’t care what happens. I’d like to be the bigger person, but you’re out of my life now, so you don’t matter to me.

Thanks for showing me what an idiot you are. 

I’ll admit to realizing you were a bit of a man-child after the first several months. Great job at pretending in the beginning though. Now that I’ve been there and done that, I’ll recognize the signs of an idiotic guy before I get involved. Wonderful lesson. At least I got something out of this relationship.

By the way, I’m much better now that you’re gone. 

I didn’t realize how stressed out you made me all the time. Honestly, it was like trying to raise a grown ass child all on my own. Thanks for dumping me. It was the best gift you ever gave me.

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