You know who you are. You treated me like I didn’t matter, like I was replaceable and like I had no feelings. You cheated, ghosted, and broke my heart. Now, you realize I was worth the time and you’re “so sorry” for all of your bad behavior, but I have a few things to say to you, and “please come back” is not one of them.
- Shame on you! Didn’t your mother teach you better than this? (If she didn’t, then shame on her too!) You shouldn’t treat anyone the way you’ve treated me, and I bet I wasn’t the only one. What’s wrong with you?
- You seriously missed out. I’m amazing. No, really, I am. I’m smart, I’ve got a great career, and I’m hot. I’ve got a great guy in my life now and the sex is awesome. If you had stuck around, you might be riding this amazing wave with me — but really, you didn’t deserve me or this greatness.
- Thanks for being a jerk so I could actually meet a good guy. If you hadn’t been such a douchebag, I might not be with my amazing boyfriend, so I’d like to thank you, I guess. He’s great — like, really, really great — and I’ve done some amazing things with my life that I wouldn’t have done if you were still weighing me down.
- Never again. Oh, you say you’re sorry? You want me back? You didn’t realize what you were missing and there’s no one like me? I don’t give a single, solitary jerk. There will never be an “us” ever again, and there is nothing you can do to fix it. How does that feel?
- Grow the hell up. We’re not in college, and your frat boy behavior is pathetic. I should have seen you for what you were back then, but I didn’t. That’s my bad, but your BS behavior is all on you. A real man handles his stuff, is honest and doesn’t “ghost.” Only a weak man-child pulls that crap.
- Hindsight is 20-20. For both of us. Looking back, we both made mistakes. Yours were far way uglier and far worse, but mine were just downright stupid. I chose you, after all! But now that you’ve come crawling back (pathetically, I might add), I bet you look back at your own nonsense and realize you messed up big time.
- I hope you learned your lesson. I’m gracious enough to hope you learned your lesson and that you won’t ever do this to another woman. Really, it’s more for womankind that I hope this than for your own benefit, but hey, if it also works out for you, whatever. Maybe you’ve really changed and you aren’t an jerk anymore… here’s to hoping.
- I’m sorry. If, and this is a BIG if, I did something to chase you off, I’m sorry. I’m strong enough to admit I have plenty of flaws and maybe one of them got to you. I’m more sorry, though, that you were somehow led to believe your behavior was totally cool, and that I wasted my time on you.
- Goodbye (and good riddance, too). I don’t care that you think you’re different, that you’ve missed me or that you think we’re soulmates. I also don’t care that your next girlfriend cheated on you and took the dog. The dog deserved more than you, and karma is a real bitch.