To Survive The Search For Love, You Need These Things

While finding a boyfriend shouldn’t be your first priority, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to find love. The trouble is, the search for Mr. Right can be anything but pleasant and sometimes downright depressing. If you want to make it through relatively unscathed, you’ll need these qualities:

  1. A super thick skin. It’s crazy how many ways you can rejected these days. People can ignore your online dating messages. You can get ghosted. You can get walked out on halfway through a date or flat-out told that you’re just not what someone is looking for. You definitely need a thick skin to navigate all that.
  2. Perseverance. If you give up and go on an extended dating hiatus that never ends, guess what? You’re going to end up alone. You need to preserve if you want a relationship. That means continuing to send out messages, no matter what the outcome, and filling up your calendar with first dates.
  3. A sense of humor. Weird stuff happens when you date. Like really, really weird stuff. The only way to survive is having the ability to laugh at yourself and the whole dating scene in general. Otherwise you’ll end up taking things way too seriously and personally.
  4. A friendly personality. Sure, not everyone is going to deserve your best self, but for the most part, you want to be pretty chatty when you go on dates. The only way to show someone that you’re amazing girlfriend material is showing them how awesome you are. Being surly and silent isn’t going to win you any points.
  5. Some healthy pessimism. When you first started this search for a crazy thing called love, you probably approached each first date with an optimistic attitude. That definitely changed pretty quickly once you saw how fast you could know you never wanted to see someone again. Being pessimistic before a date can actually be a good strategy to make sure you don’t get into that hope/disappointment cycle you know all too well.
  6. Confidence. This is similar to having a thick skin but goes beyond that. It’s about knowing that you’re a total catch but you just haven’t met the right person yet. It’s about being proud of who you are and what you’ve done and owning every moment of the life and love experience that you have.
  7. A good mood. If you’re pissed off about a fight with a friend or what happened at work that day, you won’t be the best date ever. You definitely need to keep your mood light and fun so you make the best impression possible.
  8. Hobbies and interests. You need stuff to talk about on your many dates and, of course, ways to pass your free time that don’t include lamenting how hard it is to meet people these days.
  9. A strong work ethic. You don’t want to date someone who is super lazy and phones it in at work and chances are your future person doesn’t want that in a potential romantic partner, either. Part of being great relationship material is living your best life and that definitely includes killing it at your career.

Finding love isn’t the most fun thing in the world (OK, it’s far from that) but that doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. If you have these qualities, it’s only a matter of time before you’re leaving your single days behind.

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.