To The Guy I Thought I’d Spend Forever With

To The Guy I Thought I’d Spend Forever With ©iStock/andresr

I loved you with everything I had and you did the same. That’s why I was so shocked when it ended. But now that it’s all in my past, I can look back at our relationship without any bitterness. So here’s an open letter to the guy I used to think I’d spend forever with:

  1. I’m not angry anymore. I miss you and I’m annoyed with you, but I’m not angry. Everything that happened between us had to happen in order to shape me into the person I am today. I’m grateful for the time we spent together, but I’m even more grateful for our breakup.
  2. You taught me a lot about myself. You taught me that I deserve to be loved passionately and persistently. That I can handle anything the world throws at me. That I’m a beautiful woman with a lot of love to give.
  3. I still think about you. I can’t help myself. I’ve moved on, but that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped crossing my mind. There are nights when I dream about you, and mornings when I wake up expecting you to be next to me.
  4. I hope you find someone else. The thought of running into you at the supermarket and seeing you with your wife and kids makes me sick, but it doesn’t mean I want you to be miserable. I want you to find happiness with someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved. I just couldn’t bear to see it.
  5. Forever is a long time. We didn’t spend forever together, but I’m thankful for the small amount of time we did share. Some people aren’t lucky enough to be loved once, and I was loved by the best man I’ve ever known.
  6. Relationships are hard work. They aren’t a walk in the park. We tried hard and loved hard, but we still failed. That’s why I’m going to give 100% in my future relationships, because I know things won’t work out unless I put in my full effort.
  7. Self love is the most important. The only reason I was able to get over you was because I learned to love myself. I erased the idea that I needed a boyfriend to be happy and realized that I only needed myself. It’s what helps me get through my days.
  8. You taught me valuable lessons about love. Most importantly, that loving someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with them. Sometimes, things don’t work out, and that’s okay, because there’s always someone else out there that’s a better fit for you.
  9. We would’ve never worked. I used to spend hours questioning what went wrong, but I’m done with that now. Even if we would’ve lasted another few months, or even years, we never would’ve lasted forever. It just wasn’t meant to be.
  10. I’ll always love you. My feelings for you haven’t faded over the years. Even though I don’t know the person you’ve become, I still love the person that you were. That’s never going to change.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.