To The Guy Who’s “Bad At Replying” To Texts

To The Guy Who’s “Bad At Replying” To Texts ©iStock/Xsandra

There’s nothing more infuriating then sending a text, only to be ignored for hours or days because you’re “bad at replying.” That’s ridiculous — no matter how busy you are or how low your phone battery is or whatever excuse you come up with, you can take five seconds to message me back. It’s really not that hard.

  1. It’s rude. Your lack of response is the equivalent to you asking a question in person and me staring blankly back at you. It’s just rude.
  2. At least have the decency to avoid social media. Yes, I can see when you post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat before eventually replying. I can also see that you’ve been online on WhatsApp pretty much every five minutes, so that “my phone was in the other room” excuse really isn’t going to fly. Especially when you add me to one of your mass Snapchats and then don’t reply.
  3. It takes 10 seconds. Please stop acting as if I’m taking up so much of your time. It takes 10 seconds to respond to a text — 10 seconds! — so stop acting as if I’m asking a lot of you. If you’ve got the time to be on social media and to scroll reddit endlessly, you have time to reply to me.
  4. It doesn’t make me want you more. You may have been taught that it’s necessary to wait an hour longer than I have in order to play the game and to keep me interested, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I respect guys who are good at communicating, and you treating me badly won’t make me chase or double text you.
  5. I may act like we don’t care, but I do. When you give me one of your long explanations about why you take so long to reply, I may nod along, smile and tell you not to worry, but that isn’t because I’m not hurt. That’s because as women, we’ve been taught to not be needy or desperate — and holding you accountable would make me look that way.
  6. Stop lying — we both know you received the text. Be honest and stop making excuses for your lack of response. No one is buying it anyway; the read receipts and the two ticks alongside my message clearly show it was delivered and read, so claiming it disappeared into thin air is ridiculous. Phones are pretty reliable these days… at least more reliable than you are.
  7. If you care about someone, you reply. I can guarantee that you won’t be taking as long to reply to your best friend. I understand if this a new relationship and I’m not at the top of your priority list, but I should be high enough to warrant a reply. If you don’t make time for me, don’t expect me to do the same for you.
  8. If you’re legitimately busy, say so. If you don’t have time to have a long conversation or to continue the one we’re having, simply send a message saying so. Tell me that you don’t have time to text right now — that’s what an adult would do.
  9. If you can’t be bothered to reply to me, don’t expect me to text you straight back either. It’s astonishing how many guys who are “bad at replying” will double or triple text or even call you when they don’t get a response within five minutes. A relationship requires effort on both parts, so stop with the double standards.
  10. Just tell me you’re not interested if that’s the case. If your plan is to never reply or to ghost me, stop being a coward. Yes, simply ignoring me is the easy way out, but it also says a lot about you as a human being.
  11. If you are interested, be warned that ignoring texts is a dealbreaker. I’m attracted to guys who make an effort, and replying to my messages is included in that. I want to be with a guy who not only replies to my texts but looks forward to talking to me every day. I want a guy who won’t see responding as a chore, but a way of communicating with a girl he likes. Simply put, I respect guys who respect me by replying.
Michelle Elman is a body confidence activist, certified life coach, creator of Scarred not Scared, and founder of Mindset for Life. She’s written for publications including Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, and Grazia and appeared on ITV’s “This Morning,” Sky News, Loose Women, and more. She’s also the author of the book “How To Say No.” You can follow Michelle on Instagram at @michelleelman, on Twitter @michelleelman, or on her website,