This Toilet Timer Will Let Bathroom Hogs Know When They’ve Been Too Long

When I go to the bathroom, I like to get in and do my business and get out. Some people, however—ahem, mostly men!—like to sit on the pot for what feels like hours, scrolling through their phones or playing mini-golf and God knows what else. If you have a toilet hog in your life who you want to s**t or get off the pot, maybe you need to get them this Toilet Timer*!

  1. It sets a five-minute time limit. The Toilet Timer uses sand to count down five minutes. The grains pour from the stomach area down through the bum and into the toilet area of the timer, which makes it hilarious as well as useful. When five minutes is up, so is their time on the throne. See ya later, sucker!
  2. It’s good for the recipient’s health too. While it might not seem like a big deal to spend forever on the toilet if you live alone/no one else is waiting, research has shown that lingering too long on the loo is actually bad for our health. In fact, it could lead you to develop hemorrhoids and generally throw your toilet habits off-track.
  3. Alas, it doesn’t come with an alarm when the timer is over. That means it’s likely that the Toilet Timer recipient could just ignore the fact that the sand has all drained from the top and keep on sitting there. The only thing that would make this better is having it buzz or beep loudly when time’s up.
  4. Still, it makes a great stocking stuffer or gag gift. While it’s unlikely that anyone you give the Toilet Timer too will actually use it as intended, it will at least make them laugh and could make a hilarious addition to the bathroom where anyone who comes in will see it and chuckle. And hey, maybe it will actually serve as a reminder to hurry up. Other people are waiting, you know!

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Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia