I Told My Boyfriend I Kissed Another Guy & He’s Acting Like Nothing Happened

I recently kissed a co-worker at a work thing last week. It wasn’t planned and it’s not like we’d been flirting for months; we both got a little drunk and next thing I know, we were making out. When I got home, I immediately told my boyfriend. He responded with silence and hasn’t said a word since then. What the hell?

  1. Does he think I’m lying? It’s hard to admit, but I have been known to lie on occasion. Sometimes my boyfriend is a little too serious about everything. The only way I can get him to stop working and live a little is to lie to get him out of the house. It’s always in good fun and I tell him right after that it was a lie. What if he thinks this is just another lie that’s gone too far?
  2. Does he think its not a big deal? I was pretty drunk when I got home. It was the first thing my boyfriend commented on. Maybe he believes that what happens when you’re drunk doesn’t matter? If that was the case, then why won’t he bring it up or say something like, “You really shouldn’t get so wasted“? Ugh. The silence is starting to drive me crazy.
  3. Is he simply not jealous? It could be that my boyfriend has lost interest in me. As I said, sometimes he can get pretty serious and focused on work. But what if I’m wrong about him? What if work is an excuse for him to spend less time with me? At the beginning of our relationship, we were inseparable. That faded with time, but I assumed that’s what happened in all relationships. What if I was wrong and it turns out my boyfriend isn’t jealous because he’s been looking for an out?
  4. Does he secretly want to be a cuckold? This is pretty far out, but I have a friend whose ex was into this kind of thing. He told her that one of his fantasies was for her to go out with other men, then report back to him when she came home. My friend wasn’t into that and they broke up, but guys like that do exist. What if my boyfriend is one of them? I don’t know how I would feel about my guy actively not caring about me being with other men. I want to feel like I’m so special that my boyfriend doesn’t want to share me with anyone else.
  5. Has he forgiven me? There’s a good chance my boyfriend thought about what happened, got mad about it, and decided to forgive me. There’s no way for me to be sure because I passed out soon after I delivered the news. My boyfriend is a pretty level-headed guy. It’s possible he decided to forgive me so that we could move on. I don’t want to bring it up in case I reopen a wound and create an even bigger problem.
  6. Is he planning his revenge? They say it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for. My boyfriend fits the bill. I worry that he could be planning his revenge. He’s a hot guy and I’m sure there are other women he’s attracted to. What if he wants to use my mistake as an excuse for him to go act out on some of his desires? I hate the idea that he might do that and the fact that I wouldn’t even have a right to be mad. I hope this isn’t what he’s planning. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
  7. Is he just sweeping things under the rug? There’s a good chance that my boyfriend is upset about what I did, but that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Throughout our relationship, he’s had a habit of sweeping things under the rug. It took him months to finally tell me he hated hanging out with my best friend. This is a much bigger issue than that. Sweeping a mistake like this under the rug could cause deeper issues. I don’t want it to fester and for him to explode in anger one random day.
  8. Should I let this go? Despite all the questions I’ve been asking myself, this is the biggest one. People say that if it ain’t broke, then you shouldn’t fix it. Whether my boyfriend is planning his revenge or he doesn’t care, we’re still together. Should I bring it up or move past it as he seems to have done? I heard a guy friend once say that one of the problems with a lot of women is that they feel the need to talk about everything. He says that some things should be left alone. Maybe my boyfriend wants to let sleeping dogs lie and I should follow his example.
  9. Do we still have a future? There are certain things that a person can’t unsee. I’ve heard a lot of guys say that cheating is the line in the sand that makes them leave a relationship. I understand the male ego. What if my boyfriend is struggling with the decision of whether to leave me or not? I can’t undo what I did, and I don’t want to rub it in his face by bringing it up. I love my boyfriend, and whatever’s going through his mind right now, I hope that’s at the forefront.
Hannah is a twenty-something-year-old freelance writer, obsessed with reality TV, and all things sweet.