I Told My Friend I Don’t Like Her Boyfriend, She Told Him & It’s Super Awkward

Talk about freaking awkward. My friend confided in me about her relationship troubles and I told her honestly that I thought her boyfriend was a jerk. I thought I was doing a good thing but apparently no good deed goes unpunished, as the great Oscar Wilde said. Here’s what happened.

  1. It felt good to let it out. I’d been holding onto my real feelings about her boyfriend for a while as I didn’t want her to think that I was against her instead of being happy for her. To finally tell her that I actually didn’t like her boyfriend was a huge weight off my shoulders. I hoped it would bring us closer.
  2. He really was a jerk. The guy was a manipulator and kept stringing my friend along. Other friends of ours agreed with me that he was bad news for my friend so it wasn’t just me being overly judgmental.
  3. She seemed to appreciate my honesty. We sat and chatted about her boyfriend and the relationship as a whole for over two hours while having coffee and dessert. She said that she didn’t mind that I wasn’t his biggest fan. In fact, she said she respected my opinions. I thought we were good. More than that, I thought I could trust her. She surely wouldn’t tell her boyfriend what I said, right? I mean, this forms part of the unwritten code of friendship. However, it seems one can’t always make those assumptions, as I was soon to find out.
  4. The next time I saw him, he was super awkward with me. He always used to be nice to me even though he was a giant jerk behind closed doors. He usually came across as charming and he wanted everyone to love him. However, when I went out with my friend and her boyfriend a few days after telling her what I really thought of him, he was completely off with me. What the hell?
  5. I still didn’t put two and two together. I never imagined my friend would have gone ahead and told him what I said, so I was confused as to why he was being weird around me. I assumed his jerky behavior was just becoming too big for him to contain. It didn’t come out until later in the evening when he pulled me aside as I said my goodbyes because I was going home. He said, “I know what you said and honestly, I think you’re wrong. I’m not a manipulator and I’m not stringing your best friend along.” Oh crap.
  6. She actually told him what I said! I couldn’t believe it. Even though the things I said were true and I stick to them, it was so not cool for her to go ahead and tell him. What a betrayal! I was stumped when he told me and thought I’d misheard him. I just shook my head and moved away, my head spinning. I was speechless.
  7. I confronted my friend. She texted me later that night to find out where I ran off to and I told her why I’d bolted like that. She said she told him not to tell me that he knew what I’d said. Oh, like that should make me feel better!
  8. It’s put me in an unfair situation. Now I’m the enemy in her boyfriend’s eyes and I’m not sure I quite like my friend these days after what she did. It’s so horrible. I wish I’d kept my mouth shut, but more than that, I wish my friend had zipped her lips! Whatever happened to friends confiding in each other and keeping secrets? Damn.
  9. It’s made me question my friendship. I find myself thinking, “Is she really a good friend?” I know she’s been amazing in the past, but has she blabbed about my other secrets to our mutual friends? What else has she told people about me or what I’ve confided in her about? It’s so unsettling and I don’t know if I can trust her.
  10. We’re all on shaky ground. I think my friend and her boyfriend are good, but my relationship with him (not that we were friends; more like acquaintances) is fried. As for my friend, I’m not sure where we stand. I feel betrayed by her and even though I’ve told her that and she’s apologized, it does make me question our friendship. Whatever happened to the trust we had? Was it all a lie?
  11. She used me for her own benefit. FYI, she told her BF what I said about him when they were in the middle of a fight. It was something along the lines of, “I think you’re being an a-hole and my best friend agrees! This is what she said…” So not only had she betrayed what I told her in private, but she went ahead and used my words to bolster her prowess during a couple fight. Great. Talk about adding insult to injury.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.