It’s a big deal to say “I love you” and it should never be taken lightly. When the guy I was seeing came out with those three little words, I genuinely thought that he meant it. I had no reason to believe that he was lying, but a few weeks later, I started to doubt that what he was feeling was actually love. Turned out, he was seeing other women—WTF?
I couldn’t believe he was cheating on me.
Surprise! When he told me he was seeing other women, he did it in the cruelest, most immature way—by sending me screenshots of conversations he was having with other women. It really didn’t make any sense at the time. Why would he tell me that he loved me? Clearly he wouldn’t know love if it slapped him in the face!
He missed out on what could have been amazing.
I liked this guy and I wanted a serious relationship with him. I thought there was potential there, but I was the only one who could see it. Instead of opening up to me and telling me about the other women from the beginning, he decided to lead me on instead. It doesn’t matter if he was trying to spare my feelings or not—there’s no excuse for treating someone like that.
We weren’t official but I expected him to be loyal.
We’d been in the “talking stage” for a while and there was a lot of hesitation on his part. I honestly didn’t know what he was waiting for, I mean, if he loved me, why didn’t he want to be with me officially? It’s pretty obvious that he was only pretending to have feelings for me.
He was keeping his options open.
It comes down to the fact that he didn’t know what he wanted, so he was keeping me around while he decided how he felt. The problem is that I wasn’t going to wait for him, and I certainly wasn’t going to compete with the other women he was seeing. Either he wanted to be with me or he didn’t—it’s really that simple.
He wasn’t being honest with me.
I didn’t expect much from him, but I did expect the truth. If he had told me from the start that he was seeing other people, it would have hurt a lot less. I could have walked away because clearly we both wanted different things. Instead, I stayed because I thought that maybe he was worth waiting for. Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I wasn’t looking for anything casual.
He led me to believe that he was the kind of guy who was looking for a serious relationship. To some extent, I think he was telling the truth since soon after we ended things, he got into a serious relationship with someone else. Still, I would have appreciated it if he had let me know from the start that he wasn’t interested in me instead of wasting my time! What an idiot.
He strung me along for months.
It’s no surprise that it took me a while to get over this guy. To put it simply, he didn’t want to be with me officially but he let me think that he did. I don’t know what he was hoping for, but I wasn’t going to stick around when he made it clear that he was someone who couldn’t be trusted. Believe me—walking out of his life was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I wasn’t dating other guys.
Everyone dates differently, but when I’m interested in someone, I focus all of my attention on that one person. I must have been so naive to assume that I was the only woman in his life when there were actually several others. It’s frustrating that I put so much time and effort into someone who didn’t have the same intentions. Clearly, he didn’t deserve me.
If I’m being honest, I wasn’t all that surprised.
All of the signs were there but I chose to ignore them. One minute he’d respond to texts within a few seconds and the next he would disappear for days at a time. It was frustrating AF but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Eventually, his replies were getting shorter and that’s when I knew that his attention wasn’t with me anymore.
He destroyed my trust, and that’s what hurt the most.
The fact that he hid the truth from me for so long is probably what hurt me the most. I trusted him at the time, and that’s why I couldn’t get over it. After, I felt so skeptical about dating again in case I ended up going through the same thing. Still, I realize I can’t let a bad experience stop me from getting out there and meeting someone amazing.
He wasn’t right for me—I just didn’t know it at the time.
Honestly, I thought he was the most amazing guy I’d ever met. He was caring, supportive, kind, and everything that I thought I wanted. It turns out, I completely misjudged him. I don’t completely regret meeting him because he taught me a lot about myself and what I’m looking for out of a relationship. Thanks to him, I know exactly how I should be treated and I wouldn’t settle for anything less.
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