I Told The Seemingly Great Guy I Was Dating That I Just Wanted To Be Friends & He Lost His Mind

I felt no chemistry with him so I suggested we become friends instead. His reaction was nothing short of insanity. I’m not saying that he should’ve wanted to be friends with me, but why did he have to become such a jerk about me not wanting to get romantic with him? Here’s what happened with a guy who couldn’t handle rejection.

I saw beyond the “relationship or nothing” mentality. 

Just because I didn’t feel any romantic chemistry didn’t mean that I wanted nothing to do with this guy. I really enjoyed his company when we were getting to know each other. He’d been really sweet, kind, and fun to be around. I thought he’d be a wonderful friend to have.

He became a different person when he found out I wasn’t interested. 

The minute he found out I wasn’t feeling anything romantic, he totally changed. He didn’t want anything to do with me, like I had some sort of plague. I get that it might’ve been hard for him to want to be platonic but where did the sweet, caring guy go? Was all of that an act because he had the ulterior motive of dating me? It was shady AF and actually kind of scary.

He wrote Facebook status updates about me.

We were connected on Facebook and he tried to dish me passive aggressive comments through his status updates. Once, he said, “Women want to friendzone me. Fine. Like I care.” Dude, I totally knew it was about me ’cause we’d just gone out three days ago! It kind of just made him seem even more sad and desperate, to be honest.

He accused me of being a liar. 

When I told him I didn’t see relationship potential for us, he asked if I’d lied about being interested. WTF? I’d never said I was interested! All I’d said was that he was a cool guy and I enjoyed spending time getting to know him. That didn’t mean I was dying to rip his clothes off, for goodness’ sake!

Any connection we did have died. 

He asked me if I’d felt any connection and I admitted I had. He thought that somehow meant we were supposed to date. After a long conversation on the phone with me trying to explain that I thought the connection lacked chemistry, he finally seemed to get the hint. I thought maybe we could still salvage a friendship after this bump in the road. I was so wrong. He took things to another level by blocking me on social media. Geez. You’d swear I’d stabbed the guy.

He had zero class and acted like a child. 

It’s funny how my opinion of him completely changed. When he was in “potential boyfriend” mode, he was fantastic. As a “rejected guy,” he was terrible! It was like he was two completely different people. Once, I ran into him at the store and he totally pretended not to see me. It was like we’d had a horrible breakup without even dating.

We’re both adults—he should’ve sucked it up. 

Honestly, I was battling to feel any sympathy for this guy. We’ve all been put in the friend zone. We’ve all been rejected. We have to suck it up, put on our big boy panties and have some self-respect! The world goes on. There’s never a good reason to be nasty to others.

He changed from nice guy to douchebag in the blink of an eye. 

When this guy didn’t get what he wanted from me, he became a total jerk. It just goes to show that his nice guy act was just that—an act. It’s funny how people’s true colors come out. I bet he would’ve shown me these nasty sides to his personality sooner or later if we’d dated. I was lucky I didn’t have to witness them in a relationship.

He actually had the nerve to ask me out again. 

Weeks after he blocked me on social media and dissed me in RL, he sent me a text to see how I was doing. I was nice to him and we spoke for a bit. Big mistake! He then invited me to a spontaneous dinner, which struck me as so desperate considering I’d rejected him earlier. I told him I had other plans and again he made a nasty comment, something along the lines of, “Thanks for taking time to speak to me in your busy schedule.” I just couldn’t win.

He totally misread my signals. 

I started to worry that I’d been partly to blame for his weird, nasty behavior. I mean, I can’t be blamed for rejecting the guy, but maybe talking to him and trying to maintain a friendship had given him hope. Maybe whenever I was nice to him, he thought I was flirting. But that’s not my fault, is it? It sometimes feels like I’m damned if I’m nice to guys and damned if I’m not!

I’m starting to wonder if men and women actually can be friends. 

The older I get, the tougher it seems to find and maintain platonic friendships with the opposite sex. It seems like everyone’s looking for relationships or hooking up. Finding a guy who’s keen to chat, have fun without it leading to sex, and is decent enough not to use rejection against me is like trying to win the lottery.

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