Being single for the past few years has meant a lot of bad dates and false starts. It seems like every time I like a new guy, something strange happens, and I wonder why. It’s tough to keep trying after so many disappointments. I’ve had a lot of time to figure out what guys can do to break the hope/disappointment cycle. Here’s what guys can do to impress this perpetually single girl.
Follow up when they say they will.
I hate when I mention to someone that we should hang out the following week, they agree, and then when we’re chatting about it later, they act like they have no idea what I’m talking about. It’s happened way too many times and every single time, it’s super lame. I want a guy to follow up when he says that he will. It’s the only way that I can trust him.
Remember things that I’ve told them.
Things need to progress if I’m going to think about starting a relationship with someone. If I tell a guy where I went to school or what my favorite TV show is, I really want him to remember and, better yet, bring it up on the next date. Otherwise, it seems like he’s not even listening and like he doesn’t even care.
Tell me how they feel about me.
I’ve had a lot of guys tell me that we should just be friends or that I’m “fun” but they’re not “feeling a relationship.” It’s pretty annoying, especially after the third date. If the next guy that I date doesn’t want to disappoint me, he should be honest about the fact that he likes me. That really doesn’t seem like too much to ask.
Text for a reason and not 24/7.
I’ve done the whole texting around the clock thing and it’s not much fun. Sure, it’s exciting in the moment, but it builds a totally false sense of connection and intimacy that doesn’t exist IRL. I’ve learned this the hard way. I want a guy who will text me for a reason (like making plans) or to tell me something but who can put his phone down sometimes.
Forget the cliches.
He’s too busy to date right now. He’s waiting to get his career started. He’s not sure about me because it’s not like we were serious. I’ve heard every cliche or lame phrase that exists and I’m so done with them. Guys really need to forget the cliches and be real and genuine.
Talk about their jobs, dreams, and goals.
I’m a super ambitious person and my career is everything to me. I’m only interested in guys who feel the same way, so I really want a guy to be able to talk about his career and what he wants out of his work life. If he can’t, I’m going to disappointed once again, and that’s definitely not what I’m looking for.
Carve out time in their schedules for me.
It’s obvious that everyone is busy. Life is nuts. I get it. I’m sick of guys telling me that they just don’t have time to hang out with me because it’s really just code for “I’m just not that into you.” I’m looking for a guy who wants to be with me and can find the time, no matter what else is going on in his world.
Compliment me in a genuine way.
I don’t want to hear that I have nice eyes or anything pathetic like that. If a guy feeds me a line that sounds borrowed from a rom com, I’m not interested. I want him to compliment in a genuine way, whether he’s saying that he liked a story that I wrote or that I had a smart TV theory. Otherwise, I’m going to wonder if he uses this line on every girl, and nothing is less attractive than recycled compliments.
Have their own lives.
I want to keep my independence even when I find a relationship, so I want the guy that I choose to feel the same way. Of course we’re going to share our lives and spend a lot of time together but if he doesn’t have his own things going on, there’s going to be a problem.
Line up the next date when we’re together.
I’ve spent way too much time staring at my phone, wondering if last night’s second date will turn into a third and whether someone will contact me. I would be pretty happy if a guy could mention that he wants to see me again before the end of that evening. It sounds so simple (because it is) but it would go a long way toward making me have some hope again.
Stick around when things get real.
Dating can feel horrible because whenever I think that I’m making headway with someone, they say they’re not ready to commit or they ghost. It would be awesome if a guy would stick around once it was clear that we were approaching a real relationship. That’s the dream in these crazy swipe-happy times.
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