I Have Too Much Going On To Actually Focus On Finding A Guy

I’m single AF and sometimes I feel like society thinks it’s my job to devote every minute of my free time to finding “The One.” That’s not me, though, so screw what society says. I know there’s an amazing guy out there for me and it’ll be great when I find him, but I’m in no hurry — I have way more important things to focus on at the moment.

  1. There’s more to life than my romantic relationships. Why should my life be centered around some guy? Shouldn’t my life be about me since it’s mine and all? Mr. Right might be out there but I’m not going to spend every second of my precious time on this earth looking for him. No matter what my relationship status is, there will always be room in my life for more than guys
  2. If it’s meant to be, we’ll find each other. I won’t waste all my time looking for Mr. Right because if our life plan is to be together, then we’ll meet eventually anyway. Love shouldn’t be forced; it should come naturally. I can try to manipulate the situation but that won’t do either of us any good. If we’re truly meant for each other then we’ll find one another without even having to focus on looking.
  3. I have other priorities. No one wants to die alone, but I also don’t want to die as a married woman with zero life of her own and nothing to be proud of. I know it can be hard for some guys to understand that they’re not my number one priority, but their incomprehension doesn’t make it any less true. I have other things going on and other things and people to worry about. Finding love isn’t my only priority or even a major one because my life doesn’t begin after I find Mr. Right. It’s already started.
  4. My friends are just as important as my love life. Shouldn’t they be? These are the people I’ve carefully chosen to keep in my life. They’re the people who have always been there for me and always will be, no matter how many men break my heart. After all my amazing friends have done for me, I won’t neglect my friendships for any guy. They deserve better than to be treated like second thoughts.
  5. Focusing too much on finding love could actually hold me back. If I designate too much of my time to finding love, I stop living my life — but living life could just be the thing I need in order to find love. When the pressure is off and my nights out are more about having a good time and less about looking for guys, I can finally relax and be myself. That’s how I’ll attract a good man.
  6. I want a kickass career. Yes, I also want to find love and a family, but shouldn’t there be room in my life for a career too? I have dreams and not all of them involve babies and a wedding. I want to be more than a mother and a wife. I want to follow my passions and work as hard as I can for the career of my dreams. No matter what, I’ll always make time for that.
  7. I won’t always be able to be selfish, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts. Until I do meet Mr. Right, my life is all about me. Being single is the best time in a woman’s life to be selfish —in a good way. Right now I don’t have anyone else to consider in every move I make. My choices are my own and my life is all about me. I only get so much time on this earth so I’m going to live my life, not waste it.
  8. At the end of the day, I just want to have it all. I want true love, but that’s not the only thing I want out of life. My world doesn’t revolve around finding Mr. Right. I want a husband and kids, but I also want a career, friends, adventure, travel, and so much more. I want so much out of life and I plan to do whatever it takes to get it all.
  9. I believe in the idea of “right place at the right time.” Isn’t that what fate is all about? When I’m ready to meet the right guy, I will. Until then, I’m going to focus on myself. I haven’t met Mr. Right because it’s not our time yet. I’m not going to rush my life. I’ll enjoy every minute of it even the minutes before I meet the man of my dreams and when we do get together, I’ll be an even better partner because of it.
  10. I’m available but not desperate. I’m not putting the rest of my life on pause until I find “The One.” I go out and take advantage of the world around me. I’m available and approachable. I’m not pushing every guy away, but I’m also not acting desperate. I want to find love and I believe Mr. Right is out there, but if I spend every moment looking for him that just makes me desperate to find him and I’m not.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.