I’m Too Old For Drama—I Just Want A Stable Relationship

I’m a grown woman who’s looking for a mature, adult relationship and nothing less. I’m too old for immature games and pointless drama and I won’t put up with it in my life—especially my dating life.

  1. I can handle the truth. I don’t need a man who thinks he needs to constantly “spare my feelings.” I can take criticism and I can take a joke. Women aren’t these fragile little beings that crack when we’re not told exactly what we want to hear. I’d rather have a man be honest and tell me how he really thinks than for me to believe he feels a way he really doesn’t. I want a relationship based on truth, not lies that a guy tells because they’re easier than getting real.
  2. I want to date a man with a work ethic. We’re both adults here and we should both be working towards some kind of career goal. I want a man who has passion in his life, not a couch potato that expects to spend his life bumming off of me. I need to be with someone who has more in his life than just our relationship. Even further, I don’t want to be the nagging girlfriend, constantly wondering when he’ll get a job. Honestly, if he has no real work ethic, then how can I expect him to be anything but lazy in our relationship too?
  3. I don’t want to play games. I don’t need another guy who’s just going to mess with my head. I’ve had my heart broken way too many times and I’m over all of the drama that heartbreak brings. I’m too old to be playing mind games. I’m too old for some set of BS rules that some guy made up years ago. At the end of the day, I just want to be my honest self—no games, no ulterior motives, just me. He can take it or leave it.
  4. I need a man who knows how to drink responsibly. I didn’t just turn 21 and I’m not fresh out of college. My crazy partying days are behind me and I want a man who feels that way too. I don’t want to be picking his drunk self up from some bar at three in the morning because he once again gave into peer pressure. I don’t want to babysit a hungover guy every weekend. I’m too old for that crap and I want a man who’s mature enough to feel that way too.
  5. I don’t want to have to wonder about what we are to each other. If a guy doesn’t want to define the relationship then he either needs to grow the hell up or just let me go. I don’t have time for that worry and I don’t have enough energy to deal with that level of immaturity. We’re either together or I’m single. For me, there’s nothing in between I don’t do complicated.
  6. I shouldn’t have to ask a man to care about my orgasm. Selfish lovers have no place in my bed. If a man is still under the mentality that his sexual desires are more important than mine, then, in my opinion, he’s not mature enough for a sexual relationship. I’m not going to fake an orgasm just to please a man. We should both be able to leave the bed fully satisfied.
  7. I don’t want to bear the brunt of his stress. I need to be with someone who knows how to handle life’s ups and downs. He shouldn’t come home from the office and take all his work-related frustrations out on me. I don’t want to have fights where I have no clue what I’ve done or what we’re really fighting about. I want a man to relieve stress in my life, not cause it. If a guy can’t figure out how to manage his stress in a healthy way then he’s not ready for a mature relationship with a woman like me.
  8. To me, drama is exhausting, not exciting. Some people need the drama to keep them feeling alive but I’m not one of those people. A relationship can be passionate and loving without drama and that’s exactly what I want. I’m not trying to live out some TV fantasy of “will they or won’t they?” Ross and Rachel style. I want to be happy with the man I’m with. Drama was a thing of my past, but if a man really wants to be with me, he won’t make it a thing of my future.
  9. I’m looking for someone who’s planning for the future. I want to get married, have kids, and not spend my life living paycheck to paycheck. Living in the moment and being spontaneous can bring a lot of passion but it also has a lot of consequences. I don’t want to see money go out the door on a whim or be with a guy who’s constantly risking his life for the next big adventure. I’m a woman who plans ahead and thinks things through and I need a like that too.
  10. I want to always feel safe and secure in my relationship. I’ve been in too many unhealthy relationships. That’s why I know that if there’s no sense of honesty, I won’t feel good about the relationship or myself. All I do is worry about why he lied then and if he’s lying now. I want to be with someone who doesn’t make me constantly question his love for me. I want to go to bed at night knowing I’m with a man who would never hurt me. I want real love and that means no drama.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.