Two guys, one heart—it was never going to work. I found myself in the horrible situation of falling for two guys at the same time. Here’s what happened.
I liked the guys for different reasons.
The first guy I met was awesome and we had an instant connection. But then a few days later, I met another guy and he was exactly my type. I liked the guys for very different reasons. The first guy and I had incredible chemistry and he was really sweet. The second guy was a bit of a bad boy but with a heart of gold.
If you put them together, they’d make an amazing boyfriend.
It sounds weird, but if you took all of their best characteristics, you’d have one amazing boyfriend. Ha, wishful thinking on my part.
I didn’t know who I wanted.
I used to mock people who claimed to have feelings for two people at the same time. I used to think it was just a way for them to hide player tendencies, but now that I found myself in the same situation, I realized how horrible it was. I wanted both guys, but I knew that was impossible. I’m not a player and didn’t want to be in two relationships simultaneously!
I wished I’d only met one of them.
I would’ve given my two front teeth to have met just one of these guys and never crossed path with the other. My life would’ve been so much simpler if that had been the case. Meanwhile, I was stuck feeling things for two guys, both of whom I could’ve pictured a life with. I was so angry that this had happened. It was hard enough to meet one great guy, but now I had met two and couldn’t decide who I wanted? Damn.
I felt so bad for feeling like this.
At this stage, I was already dating the first guy and things hinted at a possible future. I was also chatting to the second, so I was already feeling like a cheat and a liar. I knew I had to take action to prevent anyone from getting hurt.
I had to end things with both of them.
It was the only solution to this problem. I couldn’t imagine sticking with one guy and cutting the other one out of my life, simply because I liked them both so much. I feared that I wouldn’t be able to do that and I was already feeling guilty enough for having feelings for both of them.
How would they feel if they knew?
I didn’t have the heart to tell the guys that my heart was stuck between them both, so I knew that the only way forward was to make a clean break with both of them. Otherwise, they’d find out that they weren’t the only ones in my thoughts and that was brutally unfair on them. No, I had to nip this thing in the bud—fast.
I cut them both out of my life.
I told them both that I just didn’t see any romantic potential and it would be better to go our separate ways. Sending those two messages, one to each guy, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. My heart was torn into pieces.
They reacted differently.
The guy I’d met first and who I’d started dating got angry. He said I’d led him on because he thought I’d had feelings for him. The other guy was just really sad and he tried to persuade me to think things through before making such a huge decision. That cut me even harder because I knew that I couldn’t make a choice between them so I refused to have either one of them. When I told him I wasn’t going to change my mind, he suggested friendship but I knew there was no way in hell I could be friends with this guy. It would’ve been absolute torture.
I went through two breakups.
Ending things with both guys felt like I was going through two breakups. I missed both guys so much and couldn’t stop thinking about them. It was hard and I had moments of wishing I could get back in touch with them, but I tried to keep reminding myself that it was better to cut them both out of my life instead of stringing them along to a relationship dead-end.
I tried to focus on the bigger picture.
Sooner or later, both relationships would have ended because the guys would have found out that I wasn’t 100% committed to them or my guilt would’ve made me come clean with them about what was going on. We would’ve ended in the same place, but with more complication and more hurt, and none of us deserved that.
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