The Torture Of Choosing Between Two Guys When You Could See Yourself With Both Of Them

Having to choose between men sounds sort of ideal in theory. It’s certainly nice to have multiple guys interested in you, but the reality of it is much more complicated than that, and sometimes it can be a total nightmare. Here’s what it’s like when you’re into two men, who are both into you, and you’re feeling the torture of trying to choose between them. After all, you can’t have them both, no matter how much you wish you could.

  1. You know that someone’s going to get hurt. The outcome of this should be a great one, but either way, you know that you’re going to hurt someone that you care about, which just sucks.
  2. Your friends get tired of hearing about it. Especially your single friends, who don’t understand why having a plethora of dating options is a “problem” — and you sort of get their point.
  3. You wonder if either one is actually right. When you’re having a tough time deciding between people, you start to wonder if either would be the right decision, because it seems like the answer should be a little more obvious than it is.
  4. You change your mind frequently. Since you truly like both of them, small things can tip the scale in either direction… and this only makes choosing harder.
  5. You think about it all the time. You can hardly enjoy spending time with guy number one because you’re constantly comparing him to guy number two, and vice versa.
  6. You recognize the irony of it. Before you met these guys, you were as single as can be. Now you can’t help but feel like you’re being punished or something by having two great options at once.
  7. You feel lonely and smothered all at once. There’s plenty of attention coming your way, but since you can’t fully accept and relish in any of it, you’re left feeling alone and stressed at the end of the day.
  8. You’re scared to make the wrong decision. You like to think that your intuition is pretty strong and that everything happens for a reason, but what if you still make the wrong choice?
  9. You feel kind of spoiled. Having your feelings reciprocated is one of the best feelings in the world — you just can’t figure out why you suddenly have an overabundance of reciprocation.
  10. You don’t want to see either of them with anyone else. Part of the reason this decision is so hard for you to make is that giving one of these guys up means knowing that someone else is going to snag him.
  11. Then you feel selfish for feeling that. Because you know that you don’t ever “own” a guy anyway, and you know it’s not fair to keep them in a state of limbo.
  12. You sort of wish the decision would make itself. A little part of you hopes that one of them gets fed up with waiting and walks away so that you don’t have to dump him. But then the idea of either of them dumping you really sucks, too.
  13. You question what qualities are actually important in a person. Each guy has his better qualities, and each guy is also totally human with his faults. You aren’t sure how to figure out which version is the one that will mesh the best with you.
  14. You wish you could keep them both. Your ideal scenario would be someone blending them into one man, or just being able to date them both since they both balance you out in different ways. Alas, for most of us, that won’t be the way that things turn out.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog