You’re A Total Badass — Screw Guys Who Don’t Get It

There are plenty of men who love strong, capable women, but every once in a while, you run into one who’s intimidated by the qualities that make you so badass. It can be frustrating sometimes, but it’s really not your responsibility to sort out his issues. Here’s how you handle it when you encounter a guy who can’t handle you:

  1. Screw ’em. Nope, not literally — definitely don’t do that. Just don’t pay him any mind. He doesn’t deserve the time and energy. I refuse to let guys like that on my radar. If someone is scared of me, he doesn’t belong in my life. Choose to be with people who celebrate your strength, not downplay it.
  2. Hold your head high. There is no need to feel ashamed of your own awesomeness. Never let a man keep you down because he feels threatened by you. That’s his problem, not yours, and he obviously has some crap to work on. You should only keep stable, confident, humble people in your life, and if he doesn’t fit that description, don’t let him stick around and dull your sparkle.
  3. Do you. Life is too short to be anything but true to yourself. I hate to even think about all the years I spent as a young woman wrapped up in self-doubt and crippling insecurity. It’s too bad that these dudes are so afraid of women like you, but that only tells you that you aren’t supposed to be around them.
  4. Refuse to be less badass. It’s easy to worry that you seem less feminine and desirable because you’re so opinionated and sure of yourself. Just remember that your strength should make you even more attractive to badass men. Weak men will want you to be less “intense,” but the kind of guy you actually want in your life will love your confidence and tenacity. Don’t change that for anyone.
  5. Exist in quiet confidence. Being strong doesn’t equal being obnoxious and blustery. When I was insecure and worried about what men thought of me, I was a frantic ball of nervous energy. Now? Not so much. The best way to combat these weak men is to act like the strong woman you are.
  6. Don’t stoop to their level. The problem isn’t us, it’s them. You’re fine just the way you are. You’re allowed to exist freely and be exactly the woman you were meant to be. If some insecure men feel the need to overcompensate for their inferiority complexes by acting out, the best thing you can do is ignore them.
  7. Be patient. It’s going to take a good deal of patience for you to find someone who really appreciates you. It sucks, but the wait will be worth it. These insecure and threatened men aren’t worth our time, so why bother jumping into something with one of them just because you’re lonely? In the meantime, just go about your awesome life and have faith that a good guy will eventually come along.
  8. Achieve everything you want and more. The best way to show up the guys who don’t understand you is to become even more badass than you already are. You already know that you can get where you want to be with a lot of determination and hard work. You don’t need a man to tell you that you can reach your dreams. You’ll get there with or without one. It’s fine to hope that you’ll find a guy who will be proud to stand beside you as your equal, but just remember that you’ll continue being awesome whether you’re single or taken.
  9. Remember it isn’t your problem. A lot of men don’t deal with their own issues and hangups, so they take it out on women they feel are doing better than they are. It’s a shame, but none of your concern. You’re busy enough building up your own life; you don’t need to spend your energy getting pissed at a guy who isn’t mature enough to handle his own issues in a healthy way.
  10. Know that somewhere out there are men who will appreciate you. When you find those guys, all the crap you’ve been through will be worth it. You’ll appreciate them wholeheartedly because you’ll know just how rare and precious they are. Hold on to hope, and never settle until you find a man who isn’t threatened by you.


A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at