I’ve Totally Given Up On Dating And My Life Has Improved Dramatically

Every time I think I’m tired of being single and it’s time to start dating again, I’m reminded all too soon of how much looking for the right man sucks. Dating is a tiresome pain in the ass and I’d rather enjoy my life. Here’s why I have no problem flying solo instead of finding a partner:

  1. I focus better. When I’m single, I have no excuses. I don’t have a man to distract me from accomplishing my goals and I become very dedicated and ambitious. I reach for heights I would never attempt if I wasn’t on my own with no one to make me complacent. I’m not worried about when I’m going to see my boyfriend next or adjusting my schedule for him. I’m simply living my best life like a badass.
  2. I spend more time with friends. Having a man around is a serious drain on my time and energy. Yes, it’s a fun distraction, but I love spending time with the other people in my life — my big, strong, supportive network of friends. I need them around and I value them above almost everything else. When I’m single, I never feel torn between them and some guy I’m dating for the moment.
  3. I spend more time on myself. When I’m not worried about someone else and the well-being of my relationship, I have more time to focus on my personal development. I learn and grow and figure out all kinds of things about myself that I never see when I’m with a boyfriend. I know that I need to learn to do the same thing while I’m dating, but for now, this single self-discovery suits me fine.
  4. I work towards my goals. I have less to distract me when I’m single and therefore I’m really committed to getting what I want. I never have and never will rely on a man to take care of me. It’s my life whether I’m in a relationship or not, and I want to be the best I can be. I’m a strong, focused, amazing single woman! I feel great about myself when I’m overcoming obstacles on my own.
  5. I have tons of extra energy for enjoying my life. When I’m single, I have all kinds of energy and motivation to live my perfect life. I can honestly say that I’m building the existence I want for myself. There’s not a single thing in my day-to-day schedule that makes me unhappy. I love everything that I do. I never thought I would feel that way, and it feels amazing to be able to say it truthfully. I have tons of zest and excitement for life when I’m solo.
  6. I don’t get my emotions twisted. Dating — especially if I’m in a bad relationship — is a huge drain on my emotions and my energy. There will always be conflicts of some sort, and generally, they’re exhausting. Sometimes it’s so much work that I really do question what the point is. When I feel this way, I always think back wistfully to my single days of simplicity and happiness. Now I definitely appreciate those times of solitude because I’m so content and peaceful.
  7. I’m not invested in something that’ll most likely end up hurting me. It may sound cynical, but I have years of experience to back this opinion up. Most relationships end in breakups — it’s just a fact. If I don’t stay with a guy, then obviously we are going to break up. Those are the options, and the latter is going to happen more frequently. It might even happen every time. I know a lot of adults who never had lasting relationships. I don’t want to deal with the pain anymore.
  8. I never fight with anyone. This is the literal truth. When I do not have a boyfriend, I do not have fights. I may have mature discussions with friends and family over misunderstandings or conflicts but honestly, I’m pretty easygoing. Even that sort of thing is rare in my life — unless I’m dating. When I’m in a relationship I feel like I’m fighting more often than not. It’s not appealing.
  9. I rarely cry. I am an emotional being, but I don’t cry a lot unless I’m hormonal… or in a relationship. I feel like the crying I’ve done in relationships, especially during breakups, could create a whole new ocean. It’s embarrassing. I enjoy my single life because I’m a fairly happy person overall. I only cry at sad movies or if someone in my life is going through a tough time. Otherwise, I’m good!
  10. My moods aren’t subject to the whims of another person’s actions. I’m a very empathetic and reactive person. I grew up with a mother who had unpredictable moods and I always had to adjust to suit them. Because of this, I tend to be hypersensitive to the emotions of whoever I’m dating. I can’t help it — they affect me. When I’m single, I don’t worry about such things.
  11. I don’t get wrapped up in needless drama. I hate drama and I crave simplicity and truth. I don’t play games and I don’t like it when other people bring needless problems into my life. It seems like relationships always do this to some extent. I don’t know how to have one that’s drama-free. I’d like that but it’s yet to happen so I’ll stick with my happy and quiet single life.
  12. I feel strong, confident, and alive. I’m my best self when I’m on my own. I don’t know why this is, but it’s true. I love that I can be so empowered and happy without a man in my life. I never want to be co-dependent on anyone ever again. If that means I stay single a long time, so be it. Until I can figure out how to be as satisfied in a relationship as I am without one, I will refrain from dating.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.