Life is what you make of it, but to someone who’s always playing the victim, that’s not the case. According to WebMD, they pretend to be powerless, held under the oppressive fist of a world that’s out to get them and keep them from being happy. (Insert eye roll here.) Here are some of their most toxic habits that make them really terrible to be around.
1. They blame everyone else for everything.
Someone who’s always playing the victim never takes responsibility for their own actions. Everything that goes wrong in their life? It’s always someone else’s fault. They have a story for every occasion where they were supposedly wronged. It’s never about what they could’ve done differently. Conversations with them often involve a lot of finger-pointing and zero self-reflection. This constant blame game can be exhausting and often leaves you feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.
2. They resist solutions to their problems.
Every time you offer a solution to their problems, they have a reason why it won’t work. It’s like they’re more invested in having problems than solving them. They dismiss every suggestion, yet continue to lament their situation. This resistance to solutions is a classic sign they’re playing the victim. They seem to relish in the drama of their problems rather than actively seeking ways to improve their situation.
3. They milk their misfortunes for attention.
Their stories often revolve around their misfortunes, and they tell them to anyone who will listen. It’s their way of seeking attention and sympathy. They might exaggerate or twist facts to make their tale more tragic. They thrive on the attention they get from being the victim, often becoming the main character in their own drama-filled narrative. This constant need for sympathy can drain the energy of those around them.
4. They hold grudges for a loooooong time.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy to someone who loves playing the victim. They hold onto grudges for ages. Every past slight or conflict is stored away, ready to be brought up at any moment. This inability to let go of past grievances keeps them trapped in a cycle of negativity. Their grudge-holding often strains relationships and prevents them from moving forward.
5. They manipulate people by guilt-tripping them.
Guilt is a tool they wield expertly. They know just how to make people feel bad for their own gain. Whether it’s subtle comments or overt emotional blackmail, they’re masters at manipulating those around them with guilt. This tactic often leaves friends and family feeling obligated to cater to their needs and desires, even at their own expense. The guilt-tripping is a manipulative technique to maintain control and sympathy.
6. They constantly feel misunderstood.
Someone who’s always playing the victim often feels that no one understands them. They portray themselves as the perpetual underdog, facing a world that just doesn’t get them. Their conversations are peppered with phrases like, “You just don’t understand,” or, “Nobody gets it.” This feeling of being perpetually misunderstood is used to justify their victimhood and to avoid facing the reality of their situations.
7. They exaggerate their suffering.
Exaggeration is a common tactic. Their stories often involve over-the-top descriptions of how they’ve been wronged. The tales get more dramatic with each telling, with added details to make their plight seem worse. This exaggeration is a bid for more sympathy and attention. It’s their way of ensuring they remain the focal point of every story, with an ever-increasing level of drama.
8. They feel like the world is against them.
Someone always playing the victim often has a worldview that everyone and everything is against them, according to Psych Central. They see life as a series of battles, with them as the beleaguered hero. This mindset prevents them from seeing any positive aspects or opportunities in their life. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy where they’re always expecting the worst, and often, that’s exactly what they perceive, regardless of reality.
9. They overemphasize their sacrifices.
People who consistently play the victim often highlight their sacrifices. They’ll frequently remind you of the times they’ve put other people first, even if these sacrifices were small or expected. Their narrative often includes how much they’ve given up and how little they’ve received in return. This overemphasis is a tactic to gain sympathy and to portray themselves as martyrs, despite the reality of the situation.
10. They dismiss the positive things in their lives.
You’ll notice that people who embrace victimhood have a knack for dismissing or overlooking the positive aspects of their lives. When presented with evidence of good fortune or success, they find a way to downplay or ignore it. Their focus remains steadfast on the negatives. This selective attention helps maintain their victim status, as acknowledging the good would undermine their narrative.
11. They thrive on drama and chaos.
There’s an unmistakable pattern of thriving in chaotic and dramatic situations for those who play the victim. They seem to be at the center of every crisis, often exacerbating issues or creating new ones. This constant chaos serves as ‘proof’ of their victimhood. In quieter times, they may stir up drama to validate their feelings of being targeted or oppressed.
12. They never take the initiative to change their circumstances.
An aversion to proactive change is a hallmark of someone who plays the victim. They often talk about wanting a different life but take little to no action to make changes. This lack of initiative ensures that they remain in their perceived victimhood, as it’s easier to lament a situation than to take the steps necessary to change it. This inertia is often justified by claiming that efforts are futile in a world that’s against them.
