If A Guy Is Treating You Like His Mom, It’s Because You’re Letting Him

It can be easy to fall into the parental role in a relationship, especially when you’re dating a somewhat immature guy. However, if you’re doing any of these things, it’s no wonder he’s treating you like his mom—you’re acting like you are!

  1. You’re His Biggest Cheerleader. You congratulate him on everything, even things that don’t require any praise. He did his laundry? Great! But that’s not something you should applaud your boyfriend over. He’s a grown man and household chores are a basic everyday responsibility, not a major accomplishment.
  2. You’re Constantly Questioning Him. “Did you brush your teeth?” “Will you take out the trash?” “Did you set your alarm clock for tomorrow?” If you’re constantly asking those three questions and feeling like you have to if you want to be assured they get done, then congratulations, you’re dating your son (no incest intended).
  3. You’re Always In Charge. You’re in charge of asking for his half of the rent. You’re in charge of what’s for dinner (even when you’re not the one cooking). You’re in charge of everything! Why? Because you have no trust in him to do anything right. You act like he’s an 8-year-old and it’s up to you to call the shots.
  4. You Stand Up To His Bullies. One of his friends is talking crap about him, so what do you do? You call up that rude friend and tell him to leave your guy alone! If that’s not the most mothery thing in the world, I don’t know what is. It’s super sweet of you to have your boyfriend’s back, but he needs to know how to fight his own battles.
  5. You Take It Upon Yourself To Do Everything. You do the grocery shopping, cook, clean, fold his clothes and do everything (and more) a mother would do. Maybe you’re a control freak or maybe you just get a high from grocery shopping. Whatever the reason, you need to chill — you’re not his maid.
  6. You Baby Him. His comfort is always more important than yours and you make sure of that. That’s not right! In the end, this is your life and you need to be happy. He can’t always be catered to. Making sure he’s warm and fed is his job, not yours.
  7. You Make Him Run His Plans By You First. Before he can do anything, he has to ask you first. While it’s important to communicate and spend time with your better half, you both need to have your own lives. He shouldn’t have to ask your permission to hang out with his friends.
  8. You Make Excuses For Him. In your eyes, he can do no wrong. The guy is basically perfect and that’s why you feel like you have to defend him whenever someone says something remotely negative about him. You don’t have to be the mama cub to your baby bear all the time and you shouldn’t be! There’s nothing wrong with standing up for your partner, but don’t get carried away with it.
  9. You Financially Support Him. Are you paying that MOFO’s bills? That’s a problem. Unless you’ve been together for a while and he just got laid off but is actively working to find a new job, there’s really no reason you should be his sugar mama.
  10. You’re Always In Control. Once again, you could just be a control freak, but there’s a big difference between wanting to control everything and feeling like you have to. Question: If you didn’t make the decisions, would your boyfriend? If you answered “no,” you’re 100% acting like his mother and that’s why he can’t wipe without you telling him to.
  11. You’re Forcing Him To Lie. He lies to you the same way he’d lie to his real mom. He doesn’t always tell you when he’s meeting up with his friends or where he’s actually going because he knows you’ll have a problem with it. Instead of going to his friends to play Dungeons and Dragons, he’s sneaking off to the bar so he can enjoy a beer in peace.
  12. You’re Starting To Irritate Yourself. You’re getting a little annoyed and stressed out. Acting like his mom is turning you into someone you don’t enjoy. The romance is starting to take a downward spiral and it feels like the weight of the relationship is on your shoulders alone. You know there’s a problem when you feel it in your gut.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.