Our first date was fantastic and I was excited to see him again—I just wasn’t expecting him to introduce me to his family the second time we hung out. WTF?
It’s all about the location.
He invited me to his house for our second date because he said he wanted to cook me dinner. I thought that was sweet, so I happily went along with the plan. It was good to discover that he lived alone and had two gorgeous huskies that I fell in love with instead of annoying roommates or one that looked like Kim Kardashian. It only got weird when he suddenly asked if it was cool if his sister came over. Uh… OK.
I told myself it wasn’t a big deal but it kinda was.
It’s not like he said his parents were coming over. Besides, chances were that she would stop by and then promptly leave, seeing that he and I were on a date, right? Wrong. When the doorbell rang and his sister walked in, I became anxious at the sight of other people coming in after her: her fiancé, their kid, and her folks. Yeah, the guy’s parents walked in! Was this a family get-together or something?
They stayed for dinner.
Ugh, things were just getting worse. I thought they were all on their way somewhere and had just popped in for a few minutes, but no. They hung around until my date had finished cooking dinner. He asked if they wanted to stay—I assumed he was being polite—and they were quite happy to oblige. Seriously?
I was thrown into the spotlight.
They all were very interested in finding out who I was and how long I’d been dating the guy. I tried my best to answer their questionsbut I really wished I’d known beforehand that I was going to meet them all. For starters, I would’ve dressed a bit more conservatively. I was suddenly really self-conscious about my short dress and high heels.
The night was exhausting.
His family was lovely, but it just felt like I was meeting them way too soon. In fact, although his mom really seemed to like me, which made me feel good, it was also problematic. She kept hinting that I should attend future family get-togethers and even their annual holiday in France. Um, what? I’d just met her son, for goodness’ sake! It was no surprise that I felt totally anxious and exhausted by the end of the night.
My date felt the pressure too.
Even worse than knowing how stressed out I felt during dinner was seeing how the impromptu night was affecting my date. He looked really uncomfortable, especially when his mom was saying how much she liked me. I wasn’t sure if he just didn’t like me enough to continue dating me or if he was just feeling really stressed about the pressure of the situation we found ourselves in. It could’ve been both, I had no idea. To be honest, I just wanted to GTFO of that house and go home.
I asked him for the scoop later.
When I saw it was getting really late, I said I had to go. My date walked me out to my car and that’s when he said he was really sorry if I’d felt uncomfortable but he was glad that I’d met his family already because they loved me and he had a confession to make: the dinner hadn’t been a surprise. He’d already had plans with his family and thought it would’ve been good for me to meet them right away. Wait, what?
I was seriously pissed off.
I tried to calmly tell him that he should’ve asked me first before throwing me into such a high-pressure situation. It was totally unfair to surprise me like that. I don’t like surprises in the best of times! He apologized but said he didn’t think it was a big deal because everything had worked out all right in the end and they’d really liked me. Was this douche for real?
The lies were just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s one thing to push me into meeting his folks prematurely, but if that wasn’t bad enough, I felt like I’d been tested. He was so glad his family liked me, as though I’d somehow managed to pass a test with flying colors. He was so keen on me being a part of the family and it was only date number two. Geez, clingy much? I hardly knew this guy. We hadn’t even had a date because we’d hardly had a chance to talk to each other alone the entire night!
I’ve learned my lesson.
This experience had never happened to me before. In future, I won’t go to a guy’s house until at least date number five. I mean, by then I should know if I really like him or not and if I’d want to meet his family. That way, if I happen to meet them accidentally, it won’t be such a big deal—as long as he doesn’t lie to me about it. That’s just shady.
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