The phrase “nice guys finish last” implies that women will only date bad boys who treat them like crap. The truth is, I’d rather be single than date a guy who bores me to tears. Frankly, the real reason so many so-called nice guys have bad luck in dating is that they’re total snoozefests.
Of course I want to be treated right by guys. There’s literally no woman in the whole world who walks into a relationship thinking, “Hey, I really hope this guy treats me like dirt and leaves me feeling like a shell with no self-worth!” It just doesn’t happen. Women would rather be in relationships that make us happy without also bringing us down from time to time. Thing is, those are pretty darn hard to find.
No one wants the first word you associate with them to be “nice.” If a woman describes a guy as “nice,” what she’s really saying is that he’s boring AF. Sure, he can be nice, but he needs to be funny and nice, or quirky and nice, or drop dead gorgeous and nice. Nice on its own means that he has nothing going for him except that he hasn’t hit anyone today. Not great.
If he’s a nice guy, chances are his sense of humor is weak AF. If I can’t have a laugh with a guy, that relationship is going to be over pretty quickly. The problem is, having a sense of humor revolves around the ability to laugh at yourself, as well as other people. If he’s too nice to crack a joke, it’s going to be a loooooong dull date night for us.
Women don’t love bad boys but we do love excitement. It’s a total myth that women love bad boys. The truth is that women love excitement, and nice guys don’t tend to deliver much in that area. I’m not saying a guy should fail to call me back for days on end or insult me with gay abandon, but for the love of God, I want him to do something other than telling me I look nice and asking me how my day was!
Being able to introduce him to my mom is about 55th on my list of essential boyfriend qualities. In other words, not essential at all. Sure, I’d like to be able to bring a guy home and introduce him to my grandma, but even the nastiest guys I’ve ever dated have been able to put on a passable front for 30 minutes while they have a cup of tea with my parents. I’m more interested in how he makes me feel than whether or not my family thinks he’s husband material.
I would never date a guy who treated me like total crap. Of course I would never date someone who didn’t treat me right. Where’s the fun in that? However, I’d rather just be single and hang out with my fun, interesting friends than date a guy who’d never hurt me but who has absolutely no personality. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself in relationships, so I don’t need to bore myself to tears dating a total wimp.
A little bit of drama goes a long way in a relationship. OK, OK, I know I said I don’t like bad boys, but a little drama doesn’t hurt from time to time, right? A guy that makes himself constantly available for me is a bit of a drag—I prefer the illusion (at least) that my guy’s in hot demand, and creating a little drama around himself is sexy, as long as it stays within reason.
I want to be able to make fun of him and know he’s not going to cry. My favorite thing in a relationship is being able to tease my other half. Being silly is half the fun of being with someone, and as I’ve already said, a sense of humor is so important in a lasting relationship. If I make fun of him, I need to know that he’ll laugh and tease me back, not end up in a miserable heap on the floor. Sensitive guys ought to give me a wide berth.
I don’t really care if he’s nice to everyone, as long as he’s good to me. People who date nice guys are always thrilled by how well their dude gets on with their friends and family. Newsflash, ladies: your friends don’t wish they were dating your boyfriend, they just can’t find anything bad to say about him because there’s actually nothing to say about him. I’m more interested in a guy with a bit of personality than one that can charm all my friends.
I don’t want a ‘nice’ guy, but if he cares about me, he can stick around. Nice guys are basically just boring guys who don’t cheat, and whose dream man is that? If he cares enough to be nice to me but is also bringing a wicked sense of humor and intelligence to the table to match, he can stick around.
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