I recently put myself out there for the first time in a long time and I got burned. I knew there was a chance it might happen but that didn’t make it hurt any less. I was desperate for a distraction and I tried to find one but it didn’t work out the way I hoped.
I wanted to move on right away. I’m so tired of feeling sad and I definitely don’t need another reason to do so. I tried to get over my ex as soon as I could by aggressively trying to meet someone new, but that didn’t end up helping at all. I should know better and I guess I do. I just wanted a new reason to smile and feel excited. I wanted to forget about how happy I was with him.
I jumped in too soon. I started looking for someone to date immediately—and I mean immediately. I went on a rebound date less than two weeks after the last guy called it quits with me. Sure, we weren’t together that long—not even long enough to make it official—but it was the first time in forever that I’d really liked someone. I just wanted to numb the hurt.
I went for the first decent guy who talked to me. Sadly, most guys I message on dating apps don’t even reply, let alone carry on a conversation for any length of time. This guy wasn’t only super cute, he seemed really nice and we had a ton of common interests. I was pretty excited to meet him… and then it all went horribly wrong. I would’ve been better off hiding alone in my house instead.
I wanted to date someone hot and flaunt it. It didn’t hurt that I knew this guy was tall and handsome and in great shape. I knew my ex followed me on social media and I fantasized of posting pictures with my hot new man and making my ex regret his decision. I got way ahead of myself, obviously, and tossed aside my usually mature behavior.
I tried to pretend I didn’t really care that the last guy dropped me. He hardly even gave it a chance, and after all the lines he fed me, I’m honestly angry. I tried to pretend that I’m not and that I don’t care because I feel stupid. I feel like I should’ve known better than to let myself feel that way about someone who clearly isn’t emotionally mature enough to be with me. I tried to pretend I could date again and feel just fine about it.
I got way too hopeful about my rebound date. That’s exactly why I hate online dating. You get this idea of someone and chat so much before you even meet that it’s impossible not to get your hopes up. Then you actually do meet and within a few minutes of seeing each other, you can tell it just isn’t right. It sucks after all that time establishing a rapport. That’s why I try to meet in person as soon as possible.
I built the new guy up in my head as some sort of dream man. He was hot, he was tall, he was outdoorsy, and he was older—and most importantly, he seemed really into me. He paid me all sorts of compliments and told me how pretty I was. How could I not like that? It was all too easy to fall into the trap of letting a stranger make me feel great before I had any chance to see who he really was. Then all my hopes were dashed and I felt terrible.
I wanted my ex to feel stupid for letting me go but it backfired. I was being petty and feeling hurt. I wanted to meet someone new and fabulous immediately to stick it to the last guy for being dumb enough to let me go. I wanted to feel like I could matter enough to a guy that he’d actually stick around. I wanted it so badly then when I went on my rebound date and it was bad, I couldn’t recover normally and shake it off. It made me super upset.
I got even more bummed than I already was. The promise of an exciting date with a potentially viable new option kept my spirits up after I lost the guy I was seeing but when it went poorly, I was forced to face the pain and hurt I felt. I had tried so hard not to get too attached but I’m a very emotional and caring person. I had stronger feelings for him than I wanted to admit to him or to myself.
It made me feel like I’m never going to find anyone I like as much as the last guy. I know that’s not true—I’ve felt that way before and obviously met new guys. At the same time, it does take me a really long time to meet anyone who gives me those butterflies in my stomach. I require a very specific type of guy and I truly don’t meet anyone who comes even close to that very often. This means when I do, the stakes are too high and I end up really disappointed when it doesn’t work out.
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